The Diary

when i need you the most.

2011-10-09T04:41:00.002+08:00

ive been waiting. its like there's no respond. have you ever felt frustrated. today, i felt it. the most. the mood is not that good. everything seems so wrong. i feel like bursting out everything in tears. i dont know what's wrong. i dont know how to answer. maybe i feel alone. i feel lonely. i need someone to talk to. but there's just no one. everyone seems so happy with their lives. i dont wanna ruin their mood just because im sad. its been a while since i last blog. next week is the last week for exams. i wanna go home. go to gym. do something good for myself.

2011-01-17T04:16:00.001+08:00

“I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”

2010-12-29T01:56:00.002+08:00

kadang2 mcm terfikir, asal hidup mcm ni. why is there ups and downs in life? why can i be extremely happy today, and extremely sad on the next day. cant it be rainbows and butterflies je ke everyday. he's right. life must be balance. im trying to save some cash this month. probably joining the gym with our dearest new house mate vina.

sometimes kan, tak faham dgn perempuan yg tak reti bahasa. why do you have to menggatal still. have ur own life n jgn kacau hidup org. ur such a hypocrite. if you think you're that beautiful, gi lah masuk miss world. kalau rasa diri tu mmg sesuai nak jadi model, baru kau upload gamb tag segala jantan yg kau nak. i've had enough of you. and imma show you, what the fuck you should be!

dead

2010-11-18T11:41:00.002+08:00

lagi satu dugaan pulak datang. i am crushed. so heartbroken that i feel like running away from everything. sabar sebahagian dari iman kan. =).

i am dying inside. i really am. haihh.

i wish.

2010-11-11T23:58:00.001+08:00

sometimes, i wish to have a decent conversation with you. sometimes i wish we could talk and discuss things without fighting. i wish we could clear things up without you getting mad and choose to run away. i wish you could take things positively and try to accept other's opinions. its heart breaking to remember about your past. its killing me to hear you making fun of your past while my heart cries and hoping for you to just STOP and tell me how you love what you have now.how i wish you realized how much u meant to me. i love to talk. i love to ask. sometimes stupid questions. i know. just answer will you? the reason is because i wanna know you better. i wanna understand you better. i wanna love you more. this is me. i love you.

aduh!

2010-10-27T03:12:00.000+08:00

20kgs!!! get the FUCK OFFFF!

gud morningg!!!

2010-10-21T06:31:00.002+08:00

after so long, i really feel like blogging right now. something is so wrong. something is not right. there's so many things to do. i actually miss him. he's ignorance is driving me crazy, he's lying. he's not replying my texts, my calls. td pown tercall, and b4 that boleh ckp crdt habis. you dont have to lie. somehow, i will find out jgak. what is wrong with you when you're in Penang? its like ur in ur own world. i dont mind you spending time with your family, seriously. i don't mind if you can't call me. cant u at least text me and say u love me too? satu text satu hari. susah ka? if ur busy, then tell me, im not going to bother you. sedih la. i dont know how to hide this feeling anymore. brownies pown hangus, btol lah org ckp, if you wanna do something, do it with love. that was the only ingredient missing in my recipe. nak hang out pown, duit kna jimat. nak kerja, mcm2 la halangan. dah kna sumpahan ke apa...i cant sleep. babi btol, dah brapa hari tdo lewat cm gni. please let tomorrow be a better day. pleassseeee. = ='

2010-10-21T04:51:00.001+08:00

why the hell are you treating me like this. i never treated you this way! =(

wohoo

2010-08-25T04:14:00.002+08:00

its 4.30 and im still awake. well, tunggu nak sahur je nih. well not to eat actually, i dont wanna miss my subuh prayer. i promise him that i'll start praying, and so do him.

so many things had change since , im not sure when =p

but, what im sure is its a good one.

i miss the food in png,

my family,

and KAPITANN.

ok, dah mereppek. bye.

the beauty of islam. =)

2010-08-23T05:24:00.000+08:00

Kecantikan Lelaki

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni
rohani. Lelaki yang cantik adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan air mata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu, setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan Yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki..

Kegagahan Wanita

Kegagahan seorang w anita bukan kepada pejal otot badan, tetapi pada kekuatan perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah adalah:-

1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan

2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan

3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang ada
pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW:

“Sebarkanlah ajaranku walaupun satu ayat ” Surah Al-Ahzab : Ayat 71 “Nescaya Allah memperbaiki bagimu amalan-amalanmu dan mengampuni bagimu dosa-dosamu. Dan barangsiapa mentaati Allah dan Rasul-Nya, maka sesungguhnya ia telah mendapat kemenangan yang besar.”

Wallahualam

*****Orang yg baik adalah org yg pernah melakukan kesalahan & belajar dari kesalahan itu untuk menjadi org yg lebih baik….**** *

=)

2010-08-13T12:58:00.003+08:00

its been a while since i blog. introducing poloroid baru yaz. i love it. =)

change?

2010-04-01T02:12:00.001+08:00

life has never been easy for me. I wish things were not the same. I wish I could change the past of what I regreted doing the most. What ive become is what I deserve? Really? I want to change my life but how? No one can change me except for myself. Really? I’m not happy, im stressful, im regretting all the shits I’ve done but yet im still doing it. Why? I don’t have all the answers but where can I find the answers? By Praying? Is that the answer to all ? so why am I still not doing it.

2010-03-27T23:37:00.004+08:00

it was about 3 days ago. wan's wedding to be exact. eman came up with the idea of me sleeping at ira's place so that on the day we dont have to come all the way to sungai petani.

so 11.30pm, they came and picked me up. of course mak and ba were not happy. reason: its too late, and the're worried because its a long journey. about 12.30 arrived at ira's sister's somewhere in juru. the house was ermm very uncomfortable. seriously. its very very dirty and hot. bukan nk berlagak or complain. but at least cleanup. sumpah nak minum pown x lalu. i was very thirsty, tp sanggup tahan sampai esok gi beli kt petrol station. sampai macam tu skali.

so bla bla bla...ikut ira g make up n everything, so sampai la masjid around 3. i promised eman to wear tudung. so...

he looked at me and tears just came out. "sejuk hati tgk b pakai tudung. d nak cium dahi boleh"

what more can i say. kisslahhh. hehehe he keep on looking at me. it was the best moment. seriously. =)

then we went to the beach, took few pictures. balik rumah. arrive png at 1.am =D

hmm..

2010-03-27T20:22:00.002+08:00

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?
Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more."

PENING!

2010-03-21T01:04:00.002+08:00

am i TALL ? am i that TALL..or guys nowadays are short?

SERIOUSLY, is there anything to make you shorter or perhaps smaller boobs?

ada ka? huh.

strawberry chocolate tart.

2010-03-17T03:25:00.004+08:00

so, i was wondering wat to do with the strawberries. so i thought of doing tarts. well it turns out not to cantik haha. tp rasa tuh not bad.

saki baki strawberries tuh, i dipped it with chocolate. sumpah sedap. hehe. =D

fitness =)

2010-03-11T03:37:00.004+08:00

ok, still gemuk. i know. i know im obsessed about losing weight.
i still remember kata2 org yg mcm sial pukimak tu. sakit hati ni. although benda dah lama. panass sungguh.

although gym nih x la secanggih mana...tpkan tpkan. hahah...tipu la kalau ckp x pandang mamat2 yg badan ketul2. lemahh lemahh!..hahah. nasib dah berbf. anyways, dah register degree. kwn2....saya dah nk dekat sampai! =p

yeay yeay. haha

2010-03-06T02:25:00.003+08:00

im okay. i am. =)

bak kata ed," tgk aya bercinta, baik tgk monyet bercinta"
hahaha =p

well, i have dis prob with eman. we looovveee to fight.
fight about something we shouldn't
and he's good at saying things that i dont want to hear.
perhaps others dont want to hear. kan yaz? =)

i'm tired of fighting. i am. sumpah x tahan. kadang2 rasa mcm
"biar single senang. takda org kacau hidup. aman damai sentosa bahagia hidup. haha"
tp, tetiba bila tgk org lain, rindu dh pulak. perangai mcm celaka kan. haihh

so yesterday, dah mcm x thn. i called him. so we spent about 2 hours maki hamun each other.
some of the words were

pukimak
celaka
anak haram..
kurang ajar
babi
fuck u ...etc

hahaha. buruk benar perangai dua2 ekoq. but i must say, legaaaaaa kot.
terkeluar smua yg terpendam. so another 30 minutes we talked about how deeply in love we are..hahahah

i went out with him today. tgk salamon kane. i thought it was a hindi movie. konon sebut salomon kann ne . haha. but menarik jugak, we took the premier class. seat sedap nk mati.
pas tuh mkn biskut tepi pantai. konon budget comellaa. anyway, i had fun. sampai gym pon x pegi. haihhh! and btw, eman ckp ok to lose weight. yeay yeay =)

sakit =)

2010-03-05T00:05:00.003+08:00

"asal b nih. lebih2, GILA" then he hung up the phone

i baked a chocolate cake for him.
"yg x mau. simpan je lah dlm fridge"

" kalau b tada pown syg x rugi apa pown. b bukan ada apa. ramai lagi prompuan yang nak kt yang, tp sebab sayang punya pasal yg x leh nk tggl b"

how should i react to that?
should i just keep my mouth shut and let the heart cry?
should i ignore him and wait till he come and find me?
????

i dont know what else to do. right now im doing everything by myself. i watched movie alone. i went to the gym alone. i drive alone at night... to be honest, i've nevel felt free like this. i spent maximum 5 hours in the gym. hah! see.

hmmm everything happens for a reason kan. sabar sarah. =)

tolong la bf.

2010-02-25T03:53:00.002+08:00

i just came back from a fight with the bf, its 4 in the morning for god's sake.
well here's the thing. i swear to god i do love him, but as time goes by im getting tired. tired of watever he wants me to be which im totally NOT.

first, he does not want me to lose weight.
i've never felt the feeling of being thin and i want to look good. well its for me. i really really want to lose this fat.
he said that, im wasting money for the gym membership, he is so scared of what im wearing that others (guys especially) might find what im wearing too revealing.come onnnn, since when i became SEXY? aduhhh.. and yeaa, if im thin and preety, guys will be looking at me and he hates it. huh?

second, he hates me going out without him.
sometimes, i wanna have fun too. for him, if i wanna have fun, then have fun with him.
teringin kot. last 2 days, he's not here. so, i called ed and we went for karaoke. he was so pissed because as usual, PEREMPUAN! x elok....

third, he so badly wants me to wear tudung.
my goddddd!!!! sumpah i'll definitely wear one day. but for the mean time give me the time to just be me. i wont fake myself. i need to enjoy my 20's. seriously.

4th, he keep on repeating that he's worried i might be 'WILD' in KL.
kalau nak jahat, lama dah aku jadi jahat kot. pening ok.
niat, to go there and continue my studies...niat tu yg penting btol x?

nak pakai cantik2 dia x suka.
so what the hell does he wnts from me??

and i know, some might said im such an idiot to stick with him till now. but i know he wants the best for me and he care bout me too much that makes him worries more...but be reasonable. respect my needs and i'll respect his. dah malas nk pk. ahhh mampos kau sarah. dah kena sumpahannnn!

baliklaaaa

2010-02-14T05:02:00.002+08:00

its fucking late right now. i am so pissed offffffff!

yaz cepat dtg. i need u!

korangg dtg la jugak. she n elle balik cni!!!

reunion Ggl 06

2010-01-30T21:50:00.004+08:00

the reunion was supposed to be held in feringghi, but due to the very bad traffic somewhere along waterfall, because of thaipusam, the reunion party was canceled. everyone was so ready, and suddenly one of my fren texted shaz that the reunion pary was canceled. mcm babi gak lah dah semngat nk pi. however, ktorg yg ada contact num of each other, plan and plan. and we atlast end up in QUEENSBAY =)

fyi, the one in the middle, Zaiton is already married. anak dia. sumpah comel...and she's the same age as me.

from left, nishi, shila, najwa, parveen, nazihah, fazz, zaiton, hayati, shaz and me.

although i had fun, mcm2 jd that night, had a fight with eman. i came back at 5 in the morning, ba dah selak pintu. i couldnt enter the house. slept at mamamir's. i woke up and went late to work. sblm tu, nk buka pintu, kunci sangkut patah...rite now, im afraid to go out. takut nk jumpa mak n ba after what i did. they're nt talking to me...haihh..i wish i could tell them how sorry i am.

anyways, it was fun meeting with the girls again.

i neeD

2010-01-29T00:26:00.003+08:00

esok cuti because its friday yaw! anyways, im not sensing any happy mood tomorrow since there's no plans except for the reunion party in sunset. i've neve been there, so im looking forward to go and see how the place looks like..

and yea, im quiting my job. sunday is my last day, but im not quite sure weather it should be good news or otherwise. i was planning on spending the whole one month working out plus taking nutrimeal, but if i continue working, i'll get some money plus excuse to go out late nite. hah, im gonna stop thinking bout lying and all the shits im doing. enough of it.

well it actually happened after bei nizal came to me and warned about ba n mak might be folowing me. dont u think dats too much. aduhh thank u beinizal. THANK U.

i need to go shopping with the gurls.

i need to fucking lose weight

i need facials

i need bei to go watch movies

i need my bf to share the love =p

i need yaz to tell her everything

i seriously need to rest.

god, give me good life until i die. aminn.

tiramisu sunday? hehe

2010-01-23T03:15:00.002+08:00

hell lowww everyone.

well, rite now i am working in 7e. thats the nearest and easiest place to work. i've been working for almost a month + BUT satu haram jadah sen pown x dpt lagi. sumpah dowh, never work in 7e. i now actually realize how easy to get money from teaching. aunty maziah a.k.a mak yaz hehe was rite though...haihh. so tiba2 decide to jadi a lecturer mayb. heheh

im basically broke rite now. bgantung duit kat mak and bf...thank god. lama gila x shopping. akhir bulan, facial, gym and shopping. MESTI.

haihhh..life here is getting better, i mean, dah bnyak benda plan, dis sunday, mayb picnic with the guys. im baking tiramisu people. hehe no more chocolate cakes. planning by the beach, tp ntahla...br dlm perbincangan.

so td, i went shopping with eman the bf, nisha the chef, and kaha.. time tuh yg tetiba plan nk bwat picnic...masa shopping, whatever i mention, mcm whoaaa dark chocolate, dia angkat masuk dlm bakul. bapaklahh sweet. im just happy for him...

esok keje pagi, so i better get some rest now, pictures, nant ye people.

org2 yg tgh rindu sy, im missing u guys too. have fun tanpa saya. =)

hmmm...

2009-12-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

frens, i miss u guys so damn fucking much. so i hereby announce that i MIGHT continue my degree in MSU. hehehe

first of all, i hate being here. my life is miserable. i have nothing. i miss my girlfrens. sumpah...each time i have problems, its them whom i always think about. when that happens, i do cry. i dont know why, but these few days are killing me sooo badly.

teringat masa if anyone of us ada prob, mesti gather and have this chat sampai lewat2 mlm. lps tu we'll feel better although kena kurung x bleh masuk umah, yaz is always there to make me feel sronok balik.

she, always updated with the upcoming event. kalau dia xder hidup bosan. xder la dpt g mtv world stage of shout awards. btw she... i nk pegi concert neyo. hehe

elle, mcm my own fav version of belon and babi. rindu dgr kaw ckp sabah. hahah.
pendek kata rindu smua org. rindu2

and rite now, i dont know nk cter masalah kt saper...i dont have them here. yaz pown xder. i have no job. free as hell. nk kluar pown berbatas. nk pegi gym. banyak benda nk bwat. shopping pown dah lama x...
nk balik sana. nak balik msu.

plzzz, teringin nak happy balik mcm dulu.

25 roses. =)

2009-11-15T23:53:00.007+08:00

its about yesterday actually. the mood to write is now. so...here it goes..

i was actually at the rasa sayang hotel attending dr tajudin's daughter's wedding. it was ok. nothing interesting although its a 6stars hotel....however suddenly my dear best friend called. faris to be exact. ermm i was suprised to see him calling. so i picked up the phone, and the sweetest thing is, he was listening to this one song that reminds him of me...

so he texted me after we hung up.

ak pun xtaw npe ak nangs

teresak-esak.

serius xtaw npa. agaknya

antara stma kwn pmpuan kos

kta, kaw yg plg snang nk

luah mslh kot.

thanks weh. ikaw tmpat ke 2 ak ngadu

lpas mak aku.

then this,

thx. ni ak berenti rnr jap.

takleh drve. haha. sesak

napas ak. jgn slh sngka

eh, ak bkn nk ayt jiwang nk

ngorat ke pe. tp tah, you're

one of my frens that i value

much. sory ah kalaw wat kaw

sdh. aku kalo x bgtaw tkot ak

nyesal. trimas kwn. aku nk lek

jap. tnang dri. hav fun

knduri! ;-)

weyh..msg kaw nih. sampai mati aku x lupa. sorry kalau aku upload msg2 kaw. aku post kt cni so that dia xkkan hilang sampai bila2...anyways, i just want u to know, aku xkkan lupa korang korang smua although im far away, but hati aku dekat ngan korang2 smua hehe. anytime, anywhere, if u need me, i'll try my very best to be there. dtg png, xyah sewa hotel. dtg umah aku. gerenti hidang sirap. hehehe...paiss aku winddu juga sama kaw. nant aku dtg kita lepak ha?

='(

haihh so selepas dah sedih. teringat kenangan2 lalu, i manage to capture some pictures at the kenduri.. the best part is, the flowers are all given by the guys there. x kisahla dia waiter ke apa. hehe but there was this dude, who collects all of the roses on the table, and he gave it to me. sweet kan. =)

ya...blakang tuh, adik saya. hehe

missing them!

2009-11-03T14:14:00.008+08:00

i miss them so much. so damn much. 2 years being with them is a blast and to accept the fact that im not going to spend my another 3 years with them is so so sad. its hard to find a friend like them, and letting them go is impossible. we went through so many things together and i feel so far away from them. i miss rafi. miss rumah elle. rindu nak amik she malam2. rindu nk amik slip exam =p. haha rindu nk bergelak ketawa ngan ijut. rindu nk kluar ngan yaz malam2 maki hamun org sambil tmn dia berasap. sumpah rindu glerr.

rindu pegi the castle, rindu jalan2 kat kl, rindu bila sesat. haihhh..mcm mana ni?

korang, aku rindu kt korang sume!!

i need a JOB

2009-11-03T01:58:00.009+08:00

its time i think. i need a job. god, im bored

there's few reasons why i need to get a job.

1. im bored.

2. so that i dont have to stay home all day long and listen to mak when she calls and say, bacala reader digest tu, kemas rumah ke, ajar shazwan. do something at home. you dont have to go out. stay home. WTF? boleh mati okay!!

3. bila keje, ada excuse nk kluar lewat.

4. i need the money. since mara dah habis. seriously i need cash.

5. its been awhile since i went shopping and pegi wayang. rindu.

and today went out with bani, anis, eman, and abg mer. nk gi cari keje but instead i met mas. hmm...whatever, so hopefully, someone with good news will call me.

i did took some pictures with eman while the others were eating..

iman

2009-11-03T00:54:00.003+08:00

meet the boyfriend people.

i think its time to tell. before this i was not being a good girlfriend, i've never actually tell people about him except my very very close friends, and i think there's nothing to be ashame of. i know he's not that perfect, neither do i or anyone. there is no Mr or Mrs perfect. but, i am actually accepting the fact that i do love him.

seriously, i dont know about people's reaction towards him especially my family. the priority is always the family. my cousins, they dont really like him. i know. i dont blame them. there's always a reason for everything but im just following the flow.i know, he's a nice guy and they will eventually love him like i do. im already 20 and i think its time. he's the first and hopefully the last..=)

RAYA 09

2009-09-24T16:34:00.000+08:00

raya this year was amazing. i had fun to the max. karaoke and stuff. pictures. lots and lots of them. thanx to nano for the extremely expensive camera that manage to capture all those special moments of raya. but of course, the camera is only available when the 'tuan punya' is there. =D eheh..however have fun browsing all of the pictures.

meet the boys. i mean my dear handsome cousins. HAHAHA

and the GIRLs.

my favourite cousin of all. im not sure abt the gender... hahah ouhh ED!

My happy family. i cant resist to not go out with them...im sorry frens, anis, eman. it happens only once a year. anis pown dah lama x call. been busy having fun with my deary cousins. haha..

btw SELAMAT HARI RAYA readers!!!

balik png

2009-09-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

one week holiday in png was a blast. i manage to bake a cake and 4 types of cookies.

introducing biskut lemon cheese saya. hehe..sorry sempat tangkap gamb nih je

the everyday routine are the same. buka puasa, sbhyg, buat kuih, SNEAK OUT. haha tiap2 hari mcm tuh. but at least this time i manage to sort of behave and spend much much more time with my family. =)

mtv world stage

2009-09-01T21:24:00.000+08:00

i know its kindda late to update about the mtv world stage thingy. how ever we couldnt bring in the camera..so there werent many pictures except for the pictures we took from the camera phone and the pictures are EXACTLY the same in elle's and she's blog. i know2....saja mcm menarik pulak. hehe

=)

2009-07-01T02:33:00.000+08:00

merepek

2009-06-23T04:35:00.000+08:00

so i was bored 3 days ago. and time tu la bei nak balik. and tetiba ada pisang atas meja. i was like ermm beii jom bwat cake. ala2 secret recipe, yang banana chocolate cake tu'

so punya cari and mencari. sumpah jumpa. and we did baked. it took us a day to finish up the cake. ye lah..3 layer...alang2..cake tu dikorbankan utk father's day and ba punya birthday.

btw..HAPPY BIRTHDAY BA! mcm la ba nak baca dis crap.

elle, faris, ijut...jom gi karaoke. winduuu!!

The TRIP =D

2009-06-11T01:34:00.000+08:00

after reading faris's blog. i thought of posting one about our trip to genting too. hehe. sumpah lama x have fun mcm tu. =D

tunggu si vip eyh? heheh. our breakfast meeting at rafi. supposingly jumpa kul 8 la KONON. hehe

sesi membasuh kreta kenari. it was a very hot day!

thank god faris bought me that super cutie pinky fan? whuttha? haha. thank u faris.

in faris's car. faris was out buying those minyak kreta dlm botol yg rm 5 satu. .. hehe

elle sama err? rindunya rambut!

setibanya di genting..

hehehhe

hmm..

yeh yeh and bum bum

the kapel

the girls

x knal..haha

tu lah..saper suro jd kecik. kan mudah kena rogol tu

yeeeehhhaaaa!

haha tension x dpt teddy bear. lek lek..

apa kes?

i had so much fun with them. sumpah xkan lupa sampai bila2.

syg korang gila2 =)

my first cake of the month

2009-06-09T15:04:00.000+08:00

I Finally baked!!!

heheh indtroducing my new Fruity Mocha Cake =)

it only took me 30minutes to bake this baby. it all happened when i call abg mer, and eman's mother suddenly requested a fruit cake. she said abah is craving for one. so y not, its something new.

sumpah the niat was not to bodek. ahaha i was actually bored staying at home and suddenly cooking and baking is becoming a serious hobby. hee~

so yesterday i brought the cake to" mak mertua "..haha and they actually likes it. my mum even asked me to bake one for her frens at the office. so i guess the taste is ok.

happy holiday people =D

2009-06-03T19:17:00.000+08:00

i love AJ!

bintang bintang di udara.

2009-06-02T20:48:00.000+08:00

i wanna bake. sumpah i have to. damn it. shit im starting to feel useless, bodoh.

why must there be downs in life? why cant it always be ups all the time.. why must all this happened to me. you see, when you flash back, see how you changed, what you've become, most of you must be proud of who you are now, not all i guess... but i guess i do. i dont wanna be the old me...uikk ...lari topic...eyh

im not a good person. im not perfect and i can't be perfect...i make mistakes. i hurt people especially si anis nabilla tuh. hehe. anis sorry!!

im trying so hard to make people love me and without realizing it, im actually hurting them. bersalahnya.....sorryyyy!

anyway i know there are people who are willing to forgive and forget... tuhan kan maha adil!! =D

gila2 remaja

2009-05-24T01:39:00.000+08:00

saja sronok2 nk ltk gamb nih. hehehe

have fun! =DD

2009-05-24T01:01:00.000+08:00

sorry readers, for not updating for abt 2 months i guess. however..im kindda in the mood of updating...so here i am...updating. hahah

first...its about the tesl dinner. i know its kindda outdated. but here are some of the pictures

those are some of the pictures. =D

aya gila

2009-03-31T06:15:00.000+08:00

its fucking 6.25am and im not asleep yet.

omg...kill me. kill HIM.

my eyes are closing soon, but i wont.

gud luck AYA! I love u 2. =D

watever

2009-03-31T03:08:00.000+08:00

my third cake of the month.

heavenly white chocolate cake. =)

i started baking at 11.45pm and finished at 3.25am. including cleaning the kitchen.

kesian Yaz, x sempat makan... sorry for baking it last minute.

i need to keep myself busy at the momment. i need to forget everything although its killing me to do so. haihhh...dugaan dugaan.

birthday presents

2009-03-24T02:50:00.000+08:00

i know its kindda late to talk about birthday cake. i was requesting for a chocolate cake, and i at last manage to bake it myself...i was craving for dat cake, and since everything has been settled... why not bake..

mengundang kan? haha

baking session

lepas dah sejuk. lawa kan. hahah

done!!!....heheh

and btw...cake nih dah habis...and there will be another one cake to bake 2moro. im bakingit with anis..

and to have lunch at TGI was one of my birthday gift from mak and ba....and my mum asked me to keep the receipt. hehe..and i DID.

and my bei gave me dis..

THANK YOU FAMILY!

suicide note

2009-03-15T21:32:00.000+08:00

i am so stupid. sooo stupid. what was i thinking? bodohhhh. now see, u fucking fooled yourself. you're just killing yourself. stop this stupid drama, move on lah sarah. your making yourself miserable and depressed by some stupid thing you decided to tell. it was supposed to be relieving, but its fucking torturing to just imagine. why the hell are u hoping for some stupid miracles to happen when u know there's never ever gonna be any bloody miracles in your life...

you've waited, changed, suffered, try so hard to be somebody you really wanna become. but are you happy rite now? NO!! are you satisfied with urself? NOOO!!! do you wanna kill yourself rite now? YESS!! im dying. i am. thank u.

Happy Birthday AYA!

2009-03-13T14:07:00.000+08:00

20 years old? whoaa..... bye bye teen. heh

i'll never forget my 20th birthday ever! i've officially did the most craziest thing i've never thought i'll do in my whole life!! bravo sarah bravo!

gila babay!!

My G.I.R.L.S =D

2009-03-07T02:22:00.000+08:00

the day i enjoyed to the max. the day that i had so much fun laughing with the girls. the day that i felt no longer being left alone. the day that i wished will happen again...

i was so excited to know that we'll be having fun. who dont. ..the plan was...redbox and lepak.

babi redbox...malas nk criter. sedih...however...i manage to curi some pic from yaz's camera. dgn elle banyak lg.

dalam red box ni. ..

hehehe...

terkenang Kembali..(zaman dulu kala )

2009-02-27T03:54:00.000+08:00

The feeling to fly back to the past is so fuckin high. tetiba teringat masa zaman zaman kegemilangan dulu. haha rindu! rindu!

our cooking day. friday was always the day. nishi, anis and atika...damn. i miss all of them.

during break hour masa keje GSC. look at me! haha

mama, me and amy. my best ever fren masa kerja. i miss them so much.

khai and ntah lupa dah nama. baru dapat gaji. hehe

man. fauzi, shikin, shu mei. hehe...poppin the counter.

again its khai , eman and ed. the best day ever!!

and LOOK AT ME!!! GEMUK!

haha with Prince. the cute chinese fella.

miss those days. =D

ditagged oleh elle and yeh yeh.

2009-02-24T01:30:00.000+08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave a comment telling them that they've been tagged and asking them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog, so I can see your weirdness.

1. i am fat. big size and ugly..these are the 3 words i'll always keep in mind

2. i love DARK chocolate. lagi pahit lagi tertarik!

3. i wanna have babies. but i dont wanna get married.. hehe (anak angkat la woi!!)

4. i love to sing. whenever i feel lonely, sad and rejected..lagu la peneman setia

5. im a very sensitive person. i mean very very sensitive. i cry easily.

6. i've never been in a relationship b4. suruh mak cari la sng! haihh

7. i would like to marry a chin-lay or a chinese or apa2 yg ada kena mengena ngan chinese look. a very good looking one. cth: Denise Joseph O'neil

8. a very loyal person. kot. hehe..kalau kawan tuh, insyaallah sampai mati kot.

9. love when ppl call me AYA. rasa mcm family.

10. addicted to burger king's caramel ice cream.

11. im so craving for ikea's curry puffs and ice cream. andd yeaa daim cake.

12. would love to bake for someone i love. bukan masak ye tuan tuan. bake cake ke, cookies ke dan yg sewaktu dgnnyer..for someone i love tu termasuk mak and ba ok. hahaha

13. i am bored with my hair. nk tukar but i dont wanna cut it. colour it mayb. hehehe

14. i love air zam zam. seriously. tp susahnyer nk dapat. kalau la rafi ader jual air zam zam kan best. berkat sikit idop!

15. titiba rasa mcm nk mandi bunga. hahaha...mcm penuh je ngan sial badan nih.

16. i love hanging out with my frens. but on wed and thurs, i just can't hang out dat long. before 5 kena balik b'cause im addicted to american idol...minta maaf ye kwn2. habbit. apa buleh bwat.

org yg kena tag seterusnya

ninie,anis,sera,budak comel,ikram.

5 minggu cuti? hehehe

2009-02-19T02:04:00.000+08:00

welcome home sarah.

hehehehehehehhahahah. see how excited i am. talking about 5 weeks, goshh there's so many things to do. another 3 weeks will kill me. tahan. tahan. and masih bertahan.=)

however, today was my marathon on watching 2 korean movies, which i think most of the movies i watched have the same ending. as usual, either the hero is dead or the heroin will die. see, no happy ending. only tears. bodo. no such thing..eyhh?

SUDDENLY, i came up with this:

i wanna marry a gud looking chinese guy. i find ppl with small eyes is sexayy! hahahhahahahahaha. i know bei and hariz will laugh and kutuk me like hell if they read this. sayonara! =DDDDDD

Just Saying

2009-02-13T00:09:00.000+08:00

I suddenly remembered the conversation I had with Mr. Yeh Yeh this morning. I asked him to find me a perfect guy. I told him to find me a guy with this qualities (Good looking, rich, educated and beriman ) hahaha.

So, he did mention some names, but unfortunately not all of them own all of the qualities I mention. So what he can conclude was there are such guys with those qualities but the question is. Where are those guys and what makes you think you’ll have the potential of getting those guys. =D. ..hehehe..i know I wont. There’s no harm in having big dream kan? =D

So, today is 12th feb. another 2 days, my P is gone, and Valentines Day? Hmm…going to buana’s house again I guess. Heheh..i can’t wait to go home. Rindu dah rumah. ..but its been fun this semester, I guess im used to it already. Mak dah tak call lama, so kindda miss her. . and syazwan. I just met ba and bei is here. However, it’s the circle of life anyway. By hook or by crook you’ll have to face it.

Dreams

2009-01-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

I have a BIG dream. A dream that’s worth waiting… although there are no possibilities of the dream becoming reality, there’s still hope in it. Why dream if you don’t bother to work for it. Why hope if you still think and act otherwise.

No one is perfect and no one will ever be. You’ll never get what you want, but you’ll end up getting what you never asked for…it usually works that way. However, it depends actually.

In My life, there’s nothing I wish more than losing my weight. How pathetic it may sound, I still think, until now people do judge the outer part of someone’s body and even myself, I dreamed of having a good looking boyfriend who owns a perfect outer appearance. Not to say perfect, but almost perfect. My taste is high, I know and sometimes don’t you think I deserve someone better than I do now. I’m turning 20 this march for god’s sake and I should get someone that worth the wait. Don’t you think so?

My major aim this year is to lose weight. The happiest thing that could happen to me is to be able to wear most of the clothes without having the doubt of looking fat and ugly. Like I said, why dream if you don’t work for it, so here I am working for the goal.

Briefly, that is all I need. I almost give up a few times, but deep inside me I know I can do it. I want to be the person I’ve always imagined in my dream. Miracles will happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.

Remember, we cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.

LUCKY?

2009-01-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

ini Hariz btw. ltk gamb senang sikit nk imagine. hehe

i am extremely happy today. ..i mean hahhahahha. See im just too happy.
so today hariz invited me to his house, at 6, i drove all the way to damansara since yaz was still mengelamun'ing. hahah
aite, then on my way there, hariz called. he want us to meet at banana leaf. so i went there, i was kindda nervous actually cause i thought he'll bring his frens along but he brought acal instead. the first thing that caught my eye was his hp and earphone. His song was amazing. Sedap! sedap!! Merdu! =p
well, he's a talented person. i mean really talented. he play the guitar, piano, bass. i mean he can basically do everything and he can even sing very well.
however, acal was busy telling me about his business and hariz was busy seeking opinions . I mean he asked more than 10 times kot. We lepak there about an hour I guess, then acal went back with his car and my sweet cousin hariz volunteered to teman me back home. Hehe. It was a fine day actually.
The main purpose I was in the mood to blog was about ANIS. She’s my best ever friend who knows everything about me. I told her basically everything. Here she is, camwhoring with the most amazing person on earth which happen to be ermmm ME. heheheh

more than 10 people says we look alike.

best friend disease kowt. =p

public peeing?

2008-12-27T03:15:00.000+08:00

I’ve never thought that I’ll be looking at guys peeing. They seriously do that? I mean peeing anywhere they like. That’s unbelievable. hahahah

Its about my 2 friends, who tak tahan mau kencing…and they suddenly ran to this bush where it’s a bit dark there and start peeing.

I was like “ hoi, r u guys serious. Biar btol ” I seriously thought they were fooling around. But embarrassingly, yes they did .I was looking at them, I mean seriously. They were like ‘ aya, pusing blakang. We’re peeing. U shouldn’t be staring like that’. Hahah sumpah I thought they were faking it.

but after finishing their peeing session, what they came out was ‘ tu la …lelaki nih sng, bole kencing kt mana2..bkn mcm prompuan’ hah? ..and I said “ that was my first time ever tgk lelaki kencing!”

Hahaha and of course, they think otherwise. ‘ ha, aya. Ermm lain mcm tu. Hahahhaahhah and start laughing like hell. Ahahha bodoh btol.

However, I have so much fun lepaking with them today. I always do actually.

until then, sayonara!

the moody day

2008-12-16T00:47:00.000+08:00

i know i was a bit out of mood this morning. people do realize and starting to ask me whether im okay and what is wrong with me. i dont actually do it on purpose and i have no idea why i was so moody that morning. i guess its because of the phone call i receive yesterday...that is always the main reason why i hate going back to png that often. ouhh i do love png, but i dont know y the hell im being so moody out of a sudden. there's just too many problems to think and i hate the fact that i can get over it and everytime i try so so hard to just ignore the problems, i'll end up being quiet.

i love helping my friends, expecially when it comes to their love life. i learn and know some things through my experiance. as sad as it may sound, my love life sucks. i dont have one to be exact. things are getting even harder for me when i am the only one left for not having that ' someone special' in my life. ouhh god, i have no idea why the hell is this thing bothering me so much.

but, im grateful to have frens. they do help me in some ways and to know that im being appreciated is the best thing that could have happened. =)

about the moving out thingy, i do really look forward to move out next month. i guess its the best decision i can make so far. there's jst too much reason to mention. its hard i know. but im left with no choice.

adios!

back from png =(

2008-12-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

today was really tiring. as usual, the mood is not good. im not happy. im sad. haiihh

anyway, i have no idea what to blog today. bye

special?

2008-11-28T00:56:00.000+08:00

ignore the title. i ran out of ideas lately. so i figured out that title that doesn't suit the topic is interesting in some ways. hehe

i dnt know y, the pic is there. ahahha suka hati la.

btw, that is how my universty 'konon' look like. colourful. i know haha.

i was confused when my mum called just now. we talked about certain things that i dnt know how to act. what to do or answer. haishh. yeaa bei did called too. yesterday was his birthday and he got this free calls. suchh a sweetie to call me instead of his gf which he dont really own one.

i actually wanted to post this poem i found it it interesting. its from my old blog from f.ster so here it is:

U KNOW NOTHING

You don’t know me.
You think you do.
As you watch me,
doing my every move.
But you don’t know me,
You don’t know me at all.
You think my smiles
Mean something special,
But you are wrong.
My smiles
Are just hiding,
My broken personality.
You think my glares
Mean I hate you,
But you are wrong.
My glares just show that I don’t understand you.
You think I’m wrong
Because I lie,
And I cheat,
And I hurt you.
But look a little deeper,
Just try and find,
The real me.

p/s = yaz, dont u think this poem suits u? hehehe

Mereka

2008-11-24T03:22:00.000+08:00

its 3.30a.m. i cant sleep and i dont know y.

im bored. im missing my late night outings. haihhh i should get over it, i know. i know.

it's hard.

ba and mak are making it even harder for me. to be back before 10?? whutthaa. they even call me to check whether im home or not. this is so not working for me.

i understand that they are trying their very best to be a good parent. come on, im 19 and i know what's good and bad.

in penang, im allowed to be back late. see, i hate this part. they have this unbrilliant thoughts of KL which they think that lepaking after 10, even if im in colloge is very very very very unsafe.

and as the only daughter, to listen to what they say is a strictly YES YES!

NO! NO! NO!. however, they're not here to spy on me. hehehe

A Peek at Chuck Bass

2008-11-11T04:26:00.001+08:00

Current song playing on iPod: “Guilt By Association” by Louis XIV
Current Book on the nightstand: Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss
Ideal Vacation Destination: Turks and Caico
Childhood Crush: Catherine Deneuve
Favorite Afterschool Activity: Drinking at The Palace
Favorite School Subject: French (the language of love)
Favorite Website: New York Times
Favorite Food: Foie Gras
Favorite Video Game: Assassin’s Creed
Favorite Magazine: GQ
Favorite Reality Show: The Girls Next Door
Phone of Choice: Motorola Q
Dream Job: Future CEO of Bass Industries. Don’t you just love nepotism?

Lives with: dad, Bart, a NYC real estate tycoon and fellow womanizer
Likes: Scotch, limos, hotel suites, the Knicks, sushi, parties, jetsetting, silk pajamas, New York Philharmonic, bottle service, fedoras
Dislikes: Subway/public transportation, bubble gum, cheap wine, paper plates and plastic utensils, any borough but Manhattan
Best Friend: Nate Archibald
Girlfriend: prefers not to be tied down
Favorite fashion accessory: his signature scarf
Favorite places in New York: Madison Square Garden, The Palace Hotel, Beatrice Inn, the Frick Collection, Cornelia Day Resort, the Carousel in Central Park
Favorite Music: T. Rex, The Stooges, Mark Ronson, Sex Pistols, M.I.A., The Velvet Underground, Tokyo Police Club, Louis XIV, Interpol
Favorite Authors: Marquis de Sade, Christopher Marlowe, Anthony Burgess, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Neil Strauss, Oscar Wilde
Favorite Movies: Crimes and Misdemeanors, Battle Royale, Boogie Nights, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Requiem for a Dream, Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead, Cries and Whispers
Favorite designers: Paul Smith, Comme de Garcon, THECAST, Marc Jacobs, Ted Baker
Favorite TV Shows: The Wire, Dexter, South Park, Little Britain, MTV Cribs, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Mad Men, Nip/Tuck, The Tudors
Heroes: the greatest businessman of all time, Hugh Hefner
Motto: “I am Chuck Bass”

7 days left

2008-11-11T03:18:00.000+08:00

these few days are driving me crazy. today reminds me that im left with another 7 days untill im back in Shah Alam. i am not happy and to be back in a week are making my life miserable. my everyday moods sucks. i'll be extremely happy on one day, and i'll be moody on another day. and i have no idea why.

alright enough said. today was an okay day. nothing happened this morning. but yesterday was good. my mum bought this new grill machine. as usual, i was experimenting the machine...and at one point i got so frustrated when the machine suddenly stop working. the result was remarkable, the chicken were marvelous. and we decided to grill some of those chicken plus some meat and etc this saturday when my parents are not around. i might call ed and anis. it'll be fun. sumpah x sabar. hahah

just now, yesterday to be exact. kak rina called me for dinner together. she wants to see abg mer badly that i decided for us to eat somewhere near their house which was totaly a stupid idea. my intention was to meet eman and i did. but sadly, kak rina left frustratingly. i felt bad for her, as i was the one who suggested the idea at the first place.

i guess thats all. nothing much to write. the mood to blog is no longer available. adios!

screw me!

2008-11-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

fuck fuck fuck. ahh..only bad words are coming out from my mouth. i feel stupid, unhappy and so many other unpleasant moods. there's too many things to think. too many things to do. there's just too many. huh! however it's not a sigh of relief .

Im not home almost every night. During the day, yes. But not at night. I can’t stand being home at night even for one day but I do sacrifice my weekends to be with my family. yea.. they do matters to me.

Just now, I went out with ed and Kaha. They have these brilliant thoughts that you would never expect from a 19 and a 20 year old. They talk about business and some life experience and it did motivate me. It did. But something else was on my mind. I wasn’t actually concentrating on whatever topic they’re talking. What I did was, I nod my head and agree with whatever they says.

I actually miss him so much. I finally have to admit this. I want to meet him so badly but I just can’t. what is so wrong with me. I don’t even know it myself. Fuck my mind, fuck my heart.

p/s sorry for the FUCK

stars and moon?

2008-11-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

i love my hometown. nothing can compare the feeling when im here. its not just about the people, its about the calmness and freedom i have here. everyday and every second means alot to me, expecially when im with my friends and family. they bring out the best in me as if i am someone important to them. it matters when people say i mean alot to them, because they mean alot to me too.

you know, sometimes i have to admit, that there are times when i feel so alone. i know i have always been supporting people who are single and to move on being single is the best thing that could happened. i lied. i've seen too many relationships fall apart, and im scared to be part of it. people suiciding, running away from home, doing things against the religion.... im scared that i might do it one day. i am seriously.

to be honest, i have crush on too many people. i wont mention who they are. =DD . i mean i like them, but i dont love them to be exact. but there is this one person who had stole my heart once upon a time, and sadly he's not the one. kindda irony, i know. take it ,that way then hehe.

mak and ba will be going to Bandung on the 12th. as usual, i have to baby sit my baby syer. hehe i just need to be home alone for a while. i miss the home alone feeling. just imagine. being home alone, with a car and some money. hahah what else can be better. sumpah x sabar.

i miss DB. hahah tiba2 kan. i have not see him for quite some time. but at least i saw his mom last 2 days. hehe. hish dats all 4 today. im tired due to the karokeing with ed, kaha, kak rina and abg mer and also exercising at 1 in the morning. pelik, i know.

adios and sayonara. =D

definitely, maybe

2008-10-25T03:31:00.000+08:00

April. Suddenly, I kindda like the name. I have no idea why but I somehow figure out that name after watching the movie definitely maybe. Fascinating movie to say. I was bored at 1.00 a.m. and I thought of watching some Korean movies my brother brought back, but the beginning of the movie was uninteresting and boring. I decided to switch to astro and I just hate my remote control . I cant watch the fuckin astro on rainy days! What irritated me the most was I can’t also watch gossip girl due to my stupid brother ( although i know he’s not) deleted all the episodes he downloaded. BUT Ryan Reynolds saves my day! =D! he’s hot. Haha

Alright enough with that. I did karaoke again today. This time was with Anis and Ed. We took the V.I.P room and sing non stop for 2 hours. exhausting! I know. But yet. Fulfilling and I was over all satisfied with the RM40 we paid Heh! I think that’s enough for today. Adios!

first night =DD

2008-10-23T22:19:00.000+08:00

first night at home. mmg sangap nk kluar. but i have plans tomorrow morning, so i have to behave "well" in front my parents. as usual. hehe

what happened yesterday was really 'whoa'. What I meant was, it surprised me to see those pictures of him. it was really embarrassing and so discomforting to just imagine. Haha forget about that.

Tomorrow bei is coming back. Hehe yeahh.i am excited to meet him. When he’s around, I don’t feel that bored. That’s the positive side laa..the negative side, he’ll take my speaker away. Jahat.

My dieting is working. I mean I am gravely doing it this time. I hope I am. Since there’s too many people requesting. Hahaha.. macam famous pulak rasa. I am trying. So far, I’ve lost 2kg in 4 days. However, im starting to miss my FRIENDS already. =)

BOSAN

2008-10-21T20:21:00.000+08:00

sleepy. yes i am. my eyes are killing me and i have no idea why im not asleep yet. yeahh im going out later. hah penat. sumpah penat. with the diet thing and herbal life. exercise lg. yaz!!! im doing it!=D

chiow!. hahaha

familiaku terchenta

2008-09-14T01:08:00.000+08:00

the familia. i miss all of em'.

i miss mak, ba, syazwan and bei. its hard to not be around them especially during this time. 2 weeks. then i'll be home. but the waiting part is not that good. knowing that i'll only be back for a week and final pulak. adess...definitely its bad news. im bored. so bored. basically there's nothing much going around here besides im officially almost to broke. i need more clothes!!...and yeah..more weight to lose. heee ~

NANI

2008-09-10T00:29:00.000+08:00

its me with my late nani

i miss her so much. it has been 4 years since i last saw her. i miss her ccoking, her smile and her voice. all about her was amazing. nani, if only you are here, and how i wish you are still here. it was her who will always there by my side. she'll be mad if anyone calls me fat or hitam. hehhe

i still remember when mak scolded me that i eat too much that it hurt me so bad . i went out and started crying. you came to me and sat next to me. you scolded mak. i was just too happy to know that you were always there.

i still remember the time when we used to watch p.ramlee's movie together. we laugh together. and those moments when we read quran together. it was the most unforgetful moment in my life.

but now you're not here anymore. you were the only nani i had. the only one and you went away. i love you and i will always do. nani.

suka suka

2008-09-07T15:26:00.000+08:00

here i go again. feeling bored as always, caught up in the room with nothing good to do besides wondering what will be serve on the table at 7. hahh.. food.
talking about food, i miss the food in singapore. damnn..the indian food, were amazing..sedap nk mampos!.although its a bit pricey, well its worth of the sing dollar.
im bored and bored. tired of studying you tube and david bynes. ouhh i just love him. the way he touches the piano, damn its like a gift from god. how i wished it was me handling those keys. well, it was'nt me and will nt be me. someday i'll pas my dreams to my children..haha like ba did and sadly, he gain nothing due to my lazyness and stupidness. bodoh. ishh
however, i'll get things done. i'll make sure i'll get it done. heee =DD

Cup Cakes

2008-09-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

its time to update!..finally my laptop is fine, the connection is fine and everything is so fine..and i thank MR PAIS for his jasa baik. =D

here, i would like to show some of me and ayireens's baking and designing skills although kak liana do help alot with the waiting part in front of the oven. hehe

and yea..yaz and syamim's skills were included as well. =D

hisshh penat kot!

2008-08-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Damn..i miss my laptop to the extend that i dont think i have anything better to do. sitting here and looking and my poor presario is so bad luck. i thought last year was bad luck but this year? ouhh...not again. but, financially ...its better this year =D hihihi...
i am so exhausted and tired and weak but still thinking of my baskin in the fridge. heheh..
and yeah..bei is coming to kl..perhaps he is in kl rite now..and i miss him. and my family and everyone .
i promised anis to call her today, although the tiredness inside me is still freshh...but promise is still a promise kan.
exam is so near, and i dont think im close to 5% ready yet! how sad it might sound, im not ready to tensed up my mind and a song to sing might cheer me up. how sangap i am to karaoke...but to bad im here..and it seems like im sharing with no one for this passion except for si elle and izzut. however, this sangapness is still under control. and i'll try to maintain.

29th oct 2008...cepatlaaaa!!!

think think think

2008-07-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

a day in png was =). the feeling i felt at home is so much different. i like staying in kl but its always better when im in png. the feeling when you see your parents, your brother, your family..i just felt so happy and to leave them was hard. things change. last Saturday, i went out with ed, Man, Fauzi and Abg Mer. its a new crowd new friends, new people. heheh.....although good memories with them in gsc are indescribable but we are still us and no one changed except imanudin. hanging out without him was kindda better. ed hates him and so does Man and Fauzi. i felt terribly disappointed towards him. he just changed too much and i feel like i dont know him anymore. we hang out together and ed drove his coming to be savvy. i enjoyed to the max with them. going back to penang without sneaking out?..hahah....yea yea..i did went out without asking my parents permission...but with ed and savvy. the car was so cool...berbangga jugak la...because everyone was looking at us..(rasanyer la) sbb kereta tuh comeyl sgt. eheheh

im kindda disappointed with people. sometimes...y not think before you do something. you might hurt someone's feeling but you'll just don't realize. don't be selfish. think about others because the 'others' are thinking about you. seriously...take time...and think back what you've done wrong. its good to change and be yourself.

say no to war? wtf?

2008-07-12T01:35:00.000+08:00

=DD... i know i know. im happy.
this few days were the day full of disaster...about moving out thingy...and everything. i got tensed up with my parents and things. plus with the great amount of money i have to spend to rent a house, and there's no more income from auntie. i thought about it yesterday...dat made me decide no to move out and i need yaz to stay with me. and yeayy.....yaz tak jadi pindah. im happy..and everyone will. trust me.

dats all je kot...heheh

and yea...
what makes a child or a person loses their innocence?
hahah jgn pk kotor dowhh..
when they start to question jawapan dia..
i dont know y..baru blaja td..so im applying what i learnt. hehehhe

busy women, deko dekona..busy women =DD

2008-07-06T02:29:00.000+08:00

its 2a.m...i know its late...but not dat late lg la kan...i was kindda being a super busy women today...trying hard enough to not feel bored. YES!...although yaz berlaku curang...promised me to watch wanted together..i waited for her, but she watched with k3ram instead. =(...org berbalak sudeyhh...nvm...im watcing it with my dearest cousin tomorrow....anyway...i'm in middle of this huge crisis with everyone...d get me wrong yee...its like everyone comes to me..when they have problems...i dont mind actually...dat is the only thing im good at i guess...

i was just gayuting with anis few minutes ago....but while i was gayuting ...abg mer called...talk about eman...and anis was right about eveything..uh

today was tiring actually...but thanks to redbull..im not asleep till now...yesterday..slept at 5...woke up at 12..hehehe....the first thing i did was drink my MILO...and then helped my aunty to paint the gym room...with mereka2. done with that..have to pasang all the ikea's thing to bring to the tution centre.

but it were all paid off when mamu gave all of us rm50 each. heheh and yeah..chicken chop as dinner. thanx aunty and mamu!..hehehe...im tired and my back hurts to da max. need some sleep. so chaw evryone! sayonara. pa ya sin. peace! =D

bored

2008-07-03T10:16:00.000+08:00

here i am blogging from the room...dpt wireless kot dalam bilik..ahhahaha
seronok tak terhingga ...
btw..i am happy b'cuz i had just discover this wireless thing...but on the other hand someone is doing his shits again. bodoh bodoh bodoh...
tgk lah malam ni...ouhh wish me luckk
=DD

at mamuin's

2008-06-29T00:39:00.000+08:00

2nd day at mamuin's were so cool. today ...i went out the whole day with buana and ouhh that adorable baby qish. helped buana to shop with qishy...and buana belanja kfc..heheheh
and went back...acal was like...mama jom makan ice cream mahal...mami took us all out to eat baskin robin...sorang two scoops kowt...mcm cool jer kan...and then ayep tetiba...mama..kita makan subway lagi best..buana was like...ermm jom la buana belanja...hahhaa...tak mcm bertuah gler ke...hahaha....

i miss home =(

shisha day

2008-06-28T02:16:00.000+08:00

ed, eman, jeff, abg mer and me

me and kak rina....

although those pictures were'nt that clear. heheheh but its still precious. =D

here i am in mamuin's house..trying to update..
actually...its about last tuesday (24.6.08)
i actually went out with abg mer, kak rina, eman, ed, jeff and me..
we were planning on shisha'ing together...
so yes we did...hang out together..we had fun but not as fun as we used to hang out last week..
but yeaa..i do miss all of them ..

B>O>D>O>H

2008-06-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

ouhh..i so hate dis feeling. all i did was moody all day long and there's no reasons for it. i don't know why in the world dis feeling is bothering me..and anis came up with the answer..."sarah hang dah nak balik shah alam. biasala tu"...
ahhh yea...she's right. i love staying here. i'll miss everyone here. god..y am i so emotional...its not like im not gonna be back forever...
its all about the problems i'll be facing there and i hate it. i just hate it. bodoh me! =(

2008-06-23T02:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 53th BIRTHDAY BA!

not like he's going to read dis..but who cares..=p

yea...dats mak and ba!..i do look like ba kan =D

malas nak update actually...
but i bought a gift for my lovely ba...and thanx to yazzy who helps me with the idea..
ba likes it..and the best part was, he needs those stuffs i bought..
which was a wallet and a belt
it all cost RM75..
to find a gift for a guy is definitely hard and mostly are expensive..
haishh why dont guys likes what girls like...susahh oo...mau cari..
=D

tired.

2008-06-22T02:07:00.000+08:00

huh...(sigh)..i am so freaking tired today. well...ba bwat dis open house...not to say that open..we just invited some of our close frens and relatives...mak bedah was there..kalanor and mamu amer's family was there...and yeah...the winner of the biggest family ever brought to the open house was uncle jabarullah and family. kalanor brought an anak angkat as well..hahah...he's from indonesia. kindda cute..but he's 13. hahaha

i was so pissed off to buna today. she was just to annoying and selfish that i decided to hate her forever. damn!..scram you!

enough for today.

yesterday the plan was to bring syazwan to watch kung fu panda. mak and ba was supposed to go to that uptrend meeting...and i got the car. heheheh (evil laugh). so..i thought of inviting someone to follow me but no one was available and sadly i thought...i have to go alone..ouh yeaa with baby syer. and heheh of course ed called. and stupid me...i forgot about him. so i went and picked him up but it was already 8.45pm. definitely we wont be able to watch the movie..and i was so not into the mood of watching any movie. the mood was so into lepaking with hehehe... i took the lap top went to kapitan..lepak for a while..ouhh yea..it was boring..called abg mer ..called eman..they were in this huge fight...and eman went out with his gf.

so at last..i told ed..im going home. im bored and im mad and im not in the mood to lepak anymore. so we went home. and b4 i shut down the engine of my lovely daihatsu...abg mer called. ehehe he was walking alone to pelita sg dua...kesian la pulak..so we decided to go to him. i mean teman him kejap la...and when we arrived..i got to know that kak rina and jeff were also coming. and 5 minutes later..abg mer's fren..i dont know what's the name...but there were 7 of us including baby syer.

omg...they were so fun to hang out with. i laughed like hell....syazwan was such a lovely brother yesterday...hahaha....i just love them all. but..unfortunately...syazwan was sleepy and tired....and he wanted to go home...agak2 la...its 12.30 dah time tuh. but b4 that...tak sampai hati tgk abg mer walk back home alone..so i thought of giving him a ride...ye la..slalu naik kreta dia...y not help him pulak...so went and sent him back home...which was also eman's home and guess who was there la kan...

so sent off abg mer and we went home..it was about 1.30am when we reached home...eheheh...and guess what...there's no electricity. the whole taman sri nibong was quiet and dark. b;ack off mcm gler babay. that so reminds me of the silent hill...scary dowh...seksa jugak la...the electricity was back at 3.40am. i couldn't asleep untill 5 . and imagine waking up at 10. hang out with shaz and anis today. went back home at 7. then..ader open house pulak. help ba and mak to clean the kitchen and now its 2.30am. imagine la kan...how fucking tired i am rite now!...hah ok...i need the sleep mann!! nite nite!

confusianism. whuttha?

2008-06-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

as boring as it might sound now, i must tell that im not. i did not go anywhere..neither do anything. i was at home from morning till now that i have to baby sit my lil brother as well as being his tuition teacher...ouh i love my job. hehehe..but ( climax) =DD
the story of the day begins when eman called at 4.00 to ask me for some favors. what else la kan. so..me as usual did help. how cant i. ehhh..i helped everyone kan.
so...kluar je from the house...yazzy called. as usual there must be something hot that she wants to tell...and yea..it was the hottest story of the day. i wont tell what it was...ini antara gua sama cousin gua. heheh. what is the purpose of me telling anyway kan. stupid.
ok...actually i was about to pass something to eman masa yazzy called..and i gave the thing to him and they invited me to have lunner ( combination of lunch and dinner ) together haha..
yes...i followed them to kapitan again.
and there..i saw nora. we used to work together..but i tend to hate her for a while..but pass is pass. she used to like abg amer..hhehe which i know abg mer don't. she looked different dow..with new eye brows, bright pink shirt which was definitely a major improvement. she used to wear this cartoon T-shirt to work everyday and jeans which were not what ur eyes wants to see. but still, she still make ups like she used to.
ok, suddenly there was this phone call from eman's phone..i dont know who it was..but suddenly he looked at me..i mean seriously looked at me..his eyes were sharply focused on mine and he starts saying those 3 words. i love you. hah!...and he kept on repeating 3 times which i obviously did not answer. and the last question was..if i would to marry u..would you accept me...damn what should i say...hahah ouhh yeaa i kept quiet and all i did was smile back to him.
i dont know what else to say, whether he's serious or fooling around. and yeahh..one more thing..i took his phone...kindda bwat spot check..heheh and ader ke patut..he put my name in the phone as sarah gsc..haha i was like...hoiiiii...u letak nama i sarah gsc..then..he changed something...heheh he changed my name from sarah gsc to sarah my love...pandai kan mamat nih amik hati org...ishhh...and yea again..i looked at him and smile. i just don't know what to do.. how to react ..or even what to say....damn i am confused and scared and arghh

teeheeeee =p

2008-06-18T03:28:00.000+08:00

went out with my dearest eman and abg mer today. i brought my laptop cuz eman want's to download some stuffs..so, we end up in borders starbucks, sitting comfortably and how kind was abg mer to buy us a drink each.from sarbucks kowt..but hugs and kisses to miss jelfarina. haha because of her..we saved RM11.10. thanx lah abg mer and kak rina! hihiih..and yeahh..kak rina was there..i mean she works there..where else can she be kan. itu kak rina..jeff punya kakak la..hahah..lepak there about 4 hours kot..
done with that, we went to kapitan. tempat biasa la..but then..i lied to mak yang i went to watch movie which i obviously did not. rasa bersalah ader la jugak...but now i dont know what movie should i tell my mum i watched. ahh..itu boleh selesai kemudian.
we went out at 6.30 and i arrived home at 1.15a.m. heheh...actually still tak puas...what we did was onlining je all the time. ader rasa itu geram sket lah. but...he was so sweet today. im kindda confused about everything. i dont know how should i tell him. haishhhh...i had fun.
okla...sudah mau tdo..its 3.40a.m.already...adios!

healthy food, healthy life

2008-06-16T22:07:00.000+08:00

last few days were celebrated with food. i mean tremendously delicious food. but the problem is..there is no confirmation about the freshness and how healthy the foods are. so here i am trying to introduce healthy foods, specially cooked by my lovely ba..which taste damn good. ini penang mali punya woo...=DD

dis is parpu telur

sambal tauhu

udang berempah..the prawns were huge
we so need healthy food in our life. so take note that:

fruits and vegetables
Vegetables and fruits are the most nutrient-dense foods. They contain the greatest amounts of nutrients per calorie of any food. Many nutrients, including the ones that fight against cancer and heart disease are found in fruits and vegetables.

Vegetables have less sugars than fruits.

water
Everyone needs water to stay healthy and survive. Water is a very important part of the body. About 70% of our bodies is composed of water. do you know that Thirst is a signal to your body that you need water. However, in most cases, thirst occurs after your body has already become dehydrated. It is best to keep your body hydrated with water before you become thirsty. you also be aware that....

The blood supply is about 92% water.
A person who weighs 150 pounds should contain about 80 quarts of water.

interesting huh! =D

the xtra day

2008-06-16T03:25:00.000+08:00

walliouu..haha..i dont know how to spell that..
its 3.25am...im bored.

yesterday..which was few hours ago, was fun. but i would rather call the day as the day of food of heaven. y?...since it was father's day..mak was so into eating something extra-delicious. there were few suggested restaurant, but of course as usual..ba wants nasi kandar. and yeah..we went all the way to town to hameediah. after full 'feeing' the needs of our stomaches..i suddenly came out with this kindda generous idea to buy them baskin robin. i dont know what was i thinking..but ba was so excited and that makes me happy. we then go to q.bay to have some ice cream. i mean that extra delicious ice cream because it has this one of a kind extra ingredient, flavour...and of course u need extra money to buy it. done with dat, its time to say goodbye to bei. sent him off...haihh..im alone again.

i was kindda over slept today, and no doubt that the freshness is still high that i tend to stay awake till now. ok..whats for dinner?..first, i gave dis suggestion to mak to cook. but mak will always come with this special idea and the idea was to go to chef and brew. hahaha brilliant!...we all went there except for bei..he missed that wonderful dinner!..huhuhu...manyak rugi...
the food was good and yea..the money was good, eyhh extra good.
its all about money and yeaa...credit cards!

GaYLordZ

2008-06-15T15:24:00.000+08:00

A night out to karaoke with my love ones. we went out at 1.30am. NOT sneak out, but we went out with parents permission of course..hihih..and arrived at the place at 1.40. we took another 30 minutes to choose the songs...and we end up singing only 5 songs which was definitely not enough. everyone were not satisfied, hungry, tired and sleepy...and there we see dis huge red M..damn, there goes my money. its Mc Donalds babeh!

THE OLDEST

THE YOUNGEST (SORT OF) HAHAH

What a mess. makanlah sampai lebam

we love us!

we definitely had a major fun together. bei and bu went back today. im missing them already. but this is life. move on and do what you do best.
and btw

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

ba waw sin alif nun.

2008-06-12T03:00:00.001+08:00

Bila ribut bowsan melanda, inilah akibanya...

Kegedikkan yang melampau

Posing yang ermm..tidak maut langsung..

Ketembaman yang luar biasa..

Kechomelan yang tak diduga..hehe

i had fun again.
with them.
ed,fauzi,boey.
and the other two.
karaoke, gurney, mcd and bj.
i'll miss the trip to bukit merah.
but
it's ok, there's still time. (=

fun DAY!

2008-06-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

currently listening to ludah america by hujan ..ahahah bapak mantab lagu tuh..
i went out today...hehe..but with my parents..which was so fun. mak ngan ba were like da best parents ever today...they bought me lots of stuff..heeee=DDD...perfume, tights, sluar baru, 3 baju..

there was this incident inside the car where ba ngan mak suddenly had dis conversation about suami. hahahha..which was dedicated to me.

ba was like, sarah, kalau nak cari suami nanti..make sure he can get along with our family. tak kisah la kalau miskin ka apa...tp i want dat guy to love you and ur family as well. im lucky sb rapat ngan mak's family dr kecik..so i get along very well..

mak: tu la...tgk abg azrai ngan mamu kamarul. kalanor and buana made a huge mistake. tgk buana..wat happened to her...kesian mak tgk dia..azrai langsung tak jumpa ngan family diana..and mamu kamarul..mcm biasa la..azrai..tuh...bwat mcm muda lagi..smoking, lepak ngan kwn...he's married..takkan tak leyh pikir kot..

ba: tak kisah la kalau smoking ka tak...attitude tu yg penting..

mak:kalau boleh mak x nak la yg smoking..

ba terdiam seketika..and i wonder y..ahhah...

dat conversation made me think seketika...i was about to say...mak ngan ba carikan la kt aya..ahahah....dun worry..i did not..ahhah..
and yeahh..ba tetiba today ckp nak beli new phone..i was like,..ha beli la..phone ba kasi kt aya..and he kept quiet...how wonderful life is kalau i got the phone...i need a camera badly...seriously..and yeahh...i've paid ed rm100..ehheh im proud of myslef..yeehaaa...double double doo...wutthaa?...=DD

1st day in png

2008-06-09T01:50:00.000+08:00

its 1.51am. the bass in my room is huh! indescribable..im happy and what else matters...i just arrived from kl today with erzat, and yeah..my blur uncle came and picked us up. we had to carry like 7 bags to fit in 7 ppl in citra. it was tiring yet fun. heheh...i texted ed, anis and my mum and the minute i went inside the house, eman called...and ajak lepak..of course i refused..but i did'nt to ed..ehehe how can i..=D

ok, done with that..mamu amer ajak gi mkn dinner..and mak asked me to clean up the whole house...i did and yeah..went out with mamu amer..we did have dis conversation about uptrend, uncles, cousins..ouh yea..dis is actually some sort of unofficially gossiping with family..ehheh..menarik gak...went home..gossip ngan parents plak...how wonderful the life is kan..

eman came, 15 minutes ago..cm biasa nak kasi empty disc..and he's acting weird..very weird..btw..kwn2 ku di shah alam..aku merindui korang smua! =DD

2008-05-17T03:24:00.001+08:00

finally, im in my room in penang typing and posting a blog. ouwhh how i miss this moment. ok , first of all, budak chomeyl..i got no crdt to reply ur msgs...sorry. second is...gud news ppl! i have my own lappy..and my dad bought a new apple macbook notebook!...its white ppl! urghh i want dat and bei..keep on dreamin'. ba takkan kasi nyee...ehhehe. but it does give me dis one kind of satisfaction ahahah...i've always want a lappy and now i have one...basically...miracles does happened kan!..i told ya...tuhan itu maha adil.

im bored. trust me i am. its 3.34 in the morning and im not asleep yet. wondering and googling and im trying to do all the "ling" dat i can do...and i came out with nothing besides mengelamun. eyhh..its actually a good way to spent dat sort of free time u have kan kan. hehehe....i just cant wait for tomorrow. meeting everyone...go to q.bay mayb. =DD

im happy..yes i am. =DD

dont believe in miracles, depend on them! =D

5th may 08

2008-05-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

hari ini sgt gembira. this morning eman call...yeah..i did call him back..asked him about everything and im kindda relief lepas dah tahu the truth...today was so tiring...since yesterday budak comel called and i talk to him about 2 hours..ahahah b4 dat kluar ngan faiz...pegi lepak2 with him..lama jugak x hang out ngan dia...xm hari ni ada sikit kesukaran but oklaa...im bored!!...lg sebulan nk balik png! yeayyy...=DDD

=(

2008-04-28T17:32:00.000+08:00

ouhh..i feel so lonely rite now and i dont know why. there's to many things going around that i cant even focus on one thing. exam is coming soon, losing weight is another problem, i need more money!!..goshh!..
sometimes when u start to love someone, u tend to forget everyone around you including your friends. and dats my major problem. its not dat im in love and im neglecting my frens, its just dat people do that. they dont realize untill they're being told.

sometimes, its not about having someone special in ur life...its about remembering the one who always help u when u need them, someone who will always be with you no matter how busy they are, someone who will stick with you and appreciate u the way you are. it hurts when u know you've been kicked out from their life. yeaahh..they will accept u back..but it takes a while...untill they think they need you, they'll come back to you.

i know i love my friends to much. i know i'll do anything for them to like me. but sometimes, why cant they do the same?..i know, sometimes..i talk to much and there are times that i hurt ppl. i know i hurt them..its not dat i do it on purpose. its just because i care about those people to much..understand me and i'll understand you.

i'll try to be someone better. at least im trying. pls..don't lie to me..you can hurt me but pls dont lie. it hurts so bad. i'll accept anything, whatever you think you wanna say..just say it. i'll take it as a challenge and live with it.

p/s..to him. pls change. i know ur a good person. i know u can be somebody but pls..stop hurting people who loves you more than anything. try to learn how to appreciate people. remember..honesty is always the best policy! helping you is all i can do. call me if u need me. =)

blub blub!

2008-04-27T16:04:00.000+08:00

have u ever changed someone into someone u never know he could be..and when u left him, he's not the person u knew anymore.. YES! i did...he changed!!...he's being stupid again and i dont know y..im not there to protect him anymore...he's just being so stupid! he promised me and he lied! arghhh!!!!...stupid fren he got there! ppl! THINK BEFORE U ACT!!!

Thank U!

2008-04-06T03:44:00.000+08:00

"Tuhan itu maha adil". that is wat i'll always stick to. i know, my life will be over another 3 days. i know dis happy face will never ever be the same again. but im glad that i am now, smilling and enjoying my life while i can. Move on, is the best way to pursuit happiness. to be happy, i'll think of wat i'll remember. The best moment is what i cherish to make me be proud of who i am. The key of happiness is Bad memory. Crying is wat i do best to forget everything. sometimes, its about U. U urself ..have to change watever ur thinking. u dont have to have millions to be happy.Money doesn't always bring happiness, people with ten million dollars are no happier then people with nine million dollars. u just need that very best moment, with a slice of family and a pinch of friend to have a complete recipe of HAPPINNES. =)

xDD great day!

2008-04-04T03:26:00.000+08:00

yeayyyyy!! gue gembira bangat hari ni...hahaha..ok..the plan was like dis...me, eman, abg amer and shaz were supposed to hang out together today...sepatutnyer..nk g tgk movie at 5, KL Drift evryone was so busy dgn benda lain and as usual, me as the postman, yg kena arrange evrythin. and finally, we did manage to go out, but it was 3 hours later, we went out at 8. so...hujan lebat bagai nk rak...i was so soaking wet, penat blow rambut lawa2....smua hancur!..ahhaha..and at last kesemuanya end up kt kapaitan. AGAIN!..yea...i know i know!...Eman, as usual acting so weird kononnyer to impressed shaz. i was just sitting, looking at them, jealous?..hmm lil bit.mayb. eman was starring at her eyes!...damn it. dia mmg x pandai belakon seyh!...huh..tetiba, ader one dis car lalu, and secara kebetulan..laki tuh eman's fren and nadia (shaz's couz) nyer ex bf! timbulah suasana yg caca marba!..ahahhah...crita panjang sgt...malas nk tulis..then, dis eman ni ader bwat benda bodoh sket...akibatnyer...shaz bengang + marah +annoyed = muka merah +biru!..wtf?..ahhha..because of that...dia kena balik asap. si chand ni kuch kaha dah mula kol and bising!...sumpah menyampah gler! and eman kena hantar shaz balik. ktorang pown suruh la eman antar shaz balik....ntahla aper jd dlm kreta..masa balik...muka eman huh!..ahha tuhan je tahu...it was kindda pinkish and redishhh and bluishh..hahah..muka marah ngan frust la tuh.pas tuh dia bersumpah tak nak jumpa shaz, contact her. ahha and ktorang bet, kalau dia wat cm tuh..i'll get rm50!..kindda cool kan!..and tetiba eman was like...aya jom karaoke...ahha i was like..OK!...ahhaha..pastuh gerak la gi karaoke!..his voice was superb!..sedap dowhh!..dah la nyanyi lagu broery...ahhaha...kejap jer kat sana..it was like an hour je..then they sent me back home...td br je jumpa him again..pass to him something..esok diorang dah nk gerak perak....and mayb ahad nih nk gi karaoke lg!..yeehaa!...and yeahh..eman's nick name= pak man tote, pak man pon pon and acu!..ahahha comeyl kan! hahhaha..i know i know..i laugh too much! xDDD

"loving someone whO doesn't love you is like watching a star...you know you can never reach..but you just have to keep on trying..why not??? "sTaRs cAn FaLL...right???""

2nd April 2008., =DD

2008-04-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

today was an OK day...very fine yet ok day! wtf?...i was so bowsan dis morning, i did not eat anything till now since im so lazy to reheat the food!..pemalas seyhh...went out with eman just now...he called and he wanted to come over to my house...but nant aper pulak my parents ckp...its not nice to bring a guy masuk...uhh tak manis dipandang!..so i went out with him, brought the laptop skali...and gerak to kapitan. ed, fauzi and the geng were also there. ed pulak nk g survey phone, so he went to q.bay.kul 6.20, me and eman gerak pegi convent, my old skewl, ahha...to pick up his nephew. and we did had some conversation in the car...mostly about his carry bother ( abang angkat)..ahah...and lepas tuh..dah tak tahu nk wat aper...went to his house..i mean his mother's house in sg dua. mula2..malu nk masuk, since im the only girl..and then kakak2 dia balik...so i went in...lepak there almost 3 hours. nothin much happened..i did had fun...but i did not felt anything towards him. dat's gud news rite?....for the first time, i thought i was lepaking with my own family..and him as my brother!..cool kan!..i guess its best for me to think this way. imnot hurting my self, and i felt so good. esok nk kluar lg...i guess i did follow aper yaz ckp...hehe..thanx cousin!

Lepaking with the dudes!

2008-04-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

ahahha...dis morning i got a msg from faris sayin' dat he's coming to penang and mau gue jd tour guide nyer!...seriously...im not good at it..and since im kindda bored staying doing nothing at home..i was so excited. he said, dlm tengah hari mcm tuh dia dtg...aper punya t.hari...5 lbh br sampai tuh..tanya diorang nk gi mana...so faris was like..queensbay pown manthab jugak!..ouhh ok...i don't think guys will have fun there..but since he wants to go there......???..while waiting for the dudes, gue main piano sebentar..yeahh..dah boleh main lagu elliot yamin!...hihihi...pastuh faris text....diorang dah sampai rupanyer...told them the way, and they came and picked me up!..the "they" refers to achap, kirin, anep and pais!..hahah...pas tuh gerak ahh q.bay!...bowsan...nothin' was there..ye lahh weekdays..pas tuh ptg2...mmg tak ramai......si kirin pulak lapar...ktorang gerak gi kapitan..aper punya kedediaq...tak der tempat...full house la pulak..ish ishh..punya tunggu and tunggu....dpt gak tempat duduk...pas tuh si dia miss kol...mcm biasa la..he wants me to call him back..yes i did!...he's boring..and tanya pasal "her" again!..wtf...okok...lepas tuh...the dudes nk g amik gambar..konon la..kt depan q.bay...mmg lawa..the plan was to take the car and park tepi q.bay...pastuh...perhatian diorang ditarik oleh S&J...the souvenirs shop...faris bought dis patung yg boleyh gerak2 kepala..ahha nanti tgk dlm kreta dia!..comeyl seyh!..ngan sticker arsenal aper ntah..ahahha..pas tuh kluar2 its already dark...ahah tangkap gambar la sgt!...pas tuh anep tetiba mengeluarkan idea...suruh g batu feringgi...ahah...we went there..and of course this stupid tour guide tak tahu jalan...called eman and asked him...he gave the wrong way ..pening kepala...last skali jumpa jugak..nasib ader anep..lg pakar rupanya..mostly..dia yg kasi tahu jln...we went there..and beli dvd sket..paiss shopping banyak!..ahah dah la hujan lebat...ishh ..and then they sent me back home..arrive around 11.15....

to the dudes: THANX yea..nant cek blanja nasi kandaq ngan pasemboq!...p/s bila ader duit ahh..=DDDD...

='(

2008-04-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

he said he likes her!! ahhh forget it!...dats it! he's my fren and will always be my friend. I just need to forget about everything and move on!..guys are so unbelievable! i don't look at cute guys..ahha..okok i do, but guys with interesting personality and attitude attracts me. well, im just wasting my precious time thinking when i know that "someone" does not exist! dis year is killing me! problems everywhere! i dont know what else to do. y must evrything happened sekali gus! bala ke aper nih! the toyol thing, money, that fella...my result! im scared to go back...i am so scared. why? huh!...i am feeling useless rite now!..very very useless rite now. i mean, i don't know who likes me and who don't. im scared of what ppl would think of me dat i tend to hurt my self everytime. i thought i deserve sumthing gud, or sumthin dat will make me happy...but i dont!..i don't know how to describe dis feeling...seriously...no one would understand...no one!...

Facial done!

2008-03-31T12:27:00.000+08:00

ouhh...bow sann!!.....yesterday, i went to do facial!..heheh 3rd time babeh!.ye arhh kali nih 160 pulak! ..muka ku sgt smooth..but because masa dulu2 tangan tak reti duduk diam2..mukaku berkekas..!! shit shit!...lg 3 hari ok la tuh!..ouhh my house is so like pusat hiburan rite now!..ahha no one is at home..and im havin' my own partay! yeehaaa!!...uuhh yeaa uhh yeaa uhh yeaa!!..nk kluar...tp muka ku hodoh nih!...bye bye! =DDDDDD

Music and instrument!

2008-03-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

i am so in da mood of music and instrument today!..i was just hentaming my piano just now. it felt gud to play the piano with the pedal. piano without pedal is 0!...ok lets move on. someday sometime somewhere i would love to learn to play the guitar and the bass. although my dad owns both of the instrument and know how to play it...he wont teach me...cuz i failed my g6 exam!..hehe it was 2 years ago!...come on!..i was'nt interested yet!..but hell yeah!..i am now!..

This is Ed aka danial aka diddy aka my cousin!.eheh...he's gud in guitar. his sifu was Hariz..which also happens to be my cousin as well. ouhh..im livin in a wonderful family!!. dats y i heart them!

last but not least!..my wonderful digital piano!..although its digital, it means a world to me!..one day, i'll buy the acoustic piano! white! yeahh baby white acoustic yamaha piano!

BuLLshits happened in life All THE TIME!

2008-03-28T21:36:00.000+08:00

have u ever like ur best fren b4? have u ever like them more then u like them as ur best fren but u just cant fall in love with them! huh! i did!....i met him a year ago and since then .. i just kept thinking about him. he made me see the real world, he's the one who showed me how to be someone dat I've never thought i'll become. i did changed because of him. i thought i hate him, but actually i was'nt hatting him...i was just being stupid to like my own fren! he's my fren!!...but he told me, he like me, he said i've made him smile, he said he likes being around me, he likes hanging out with me, he quit his job because of me, he cried when i leave him, he stop smoking because of me, and start smoking because im not around!, he's the first guy who wished me on valentines day.. am i too ugly, too fat and too everything for him??...yeah yeah everything happens for a reason! I MISS HIM!

Ive seen a lot of things in my life
Alot of ups and downs
Made alot of mistakes

Lord, you mean the world to me
Before I was born you chose me
You always hear me when Im calling
Even catch me when Im falling
Youre the closest one to me
I surrender all to thee
I want the whole wide world to see
That weve always been and well always be
Best friends

Karaoke of the day!

2008-03-28T02:43:00.000+08:00

ahhaha...today was so so fun. i just got back from mamu amir's house...now is 2.44am...how late is dat!...ok...eman and abg mer sepatutnyer call me...diorang yg nk ajak gi karaoke...but unfortunately, i cant reach both of the m..phone pown x jwb...sms x reply...haihh..i couldnt stay any longer ay home...soo....i decided to go out....hehhe with my baby daihatsu..there i went to pick up ed....lepas tuh gi ambik nini and nana. ...nini pulak mintak tolong gi sega..to take sumthing from her bf...pegi la pulak area gurney..tak jauh ahh pulak..aiyyaa...lepas tuh trus gerak subaidah....that karaoke thing sebelah subaidah je....boleyh tak tempat tuh mcm tempat mamat rempit lepak...damn scary..tp niat smua org nk karaoke...ahhhaha...so teruskan jugak..masuk lah jugak kami kat dalam...ed pilih 6 songs....nini and nana 6 songs..and me 4 songs!...best nak mampos dpt nyanyi...I LIKE!!!...here are few pictures yg sempat di ambil!

me and luvly nea ..hehe sambil melihat ed uptrand menyanyi!
adegan peminat memberi bunga palsu kpd artist pujaannya! =DDDD

ed uptrand!..haihh lagu broery tuh tgh tuju kat saper eyhh??.....i know i know! =p

we had so much fun today! thanx cousins!
gud news...mak dah tertido!..ahha no one realize i balik lmbat!..mission accomplished!!

Blur + Bowsan = GILA

2008-03-27T11:39:00.000+08:00

Goshh..im so fuckin bored!kreta dua2 x der!..arhh cm ner nk kluar...i need chocolate!...yeahh!..ahha..anis called just now...angkasawan yg handsome tuh nk dtg usm..ahhaha...he's in png!...yesterday...balik umah lambat..ehheh ba dah tunggu depan pintu...today..nk kluar again...nt sure!..seriously, after wat happened...i need to forget everything and move on!..stupid college just wants the money! wasted my time, my money!....fuck la...
arhhhh...hopefully im going out today!! i need my daihatsu!!..i need my baby!..i cant stay at home anymore!!!