Vulnerable

And when i thought he changed. I was absolutely wrong. This proves that u can never trust anyone. Maybe god is preparing me to be stronger. And i know i will. 

Suprisingly, the other one knows it when im at my lowest point. How could i forget him. Life is so confusing.  

Its funny how things changed for these past few years. Reading my old posts, being in love with the man i thought ill get married with. Its all so different now. How can you not think about it? As hard as i try to move on, there are times i wish i did what i was supposed to do. But yup! This is life. We learn and move on.

Im happy with my life now. I have family and friends who gave me endless love and supports. What else matters. Ill do whatever i want in my life and along the way, ill find that right guy and that guy will be the one.

So, im promising my self, to give me another chance, to love me. To be more productive. To be thankful. to be positive and to have faith in Allah that everything going to be better. I will be fine. insyaallah.

Aya

=)

My birthday celebration was amazing. i love surprises. i love presents. I super love my families and friends. Thank you for such an enjoyable day. Im so grateful. i do. good night . xoxo

always up.

Today i promise myself to eat healthy and start going to the gym back. Well, things got  a bit out of track, i guess i value my friends more than myself. We spent the day at the curve, did not expect us to end up in the karaoke room, but we did. well, singing is my...our  chill pill. 

Sometimes i feel that everyone is lucky in their own way, there is nothing as bad luck, bad day. I used to feel that way until i kick some positiveness in to my sense. Every time i feel hopeless, i'll tell myself, life is beautiful to be this sad. there's still people out there who cant afford to lose you.

 However, i really hope i'll get the job. its not my dream job but at least i get a consistent pay and i can start planing. ah too tired to scribble anything here. So many dreams to make it come true. I know i can and i will. until then,  goodnight sweethearts! xoxo

Moving on.

Its been years since i last update my blog. i was not into writing blogs anymore until i read a few good ones that really made me think about start being active again. i could practice my writing skills here too though. forgive me if there's any mistakes or errors. Well so many things happened for these past few months/years. i actually broke up with the the only man i thought Im gonna get married with. Things dont usually follow according to plans huh'. Im not sad, really. I felt so good. thinking about it again, i suffered through out my dating years, not to say i did not had fun at all. i did, he's nice in some way, but when it comes to being overprotective, cheating on me, i guess i had enough. i dont think my heart could stand this anymore. i need to live my life, like what good friends always tell me, go get some a life, be socialize, explore the world, have fun, ...... i am trying to do it now,  just that i got restricted by all the work loads i have now. 

Im currently working with Pearl Cakes and Events which really benefits me in soooo many ways. i am much improved in my decorating skills, frosting skills. I thank Satira for that. She's a good boss, but when it comes to being organize and managing the company, she fails miserably. On the other side, working with this company had made me a better person. i am so lucky in a sense that ive got the chance to meet a few famous people and the only person i could think of if Sam. hahaha. thats about it i guess. Talking about Sam wont let me stop, my friends know that. until then, tadaa.

 

when i need you the most.

ive been waiting. its like there's no respond. have you ever felt frustrated. today, i felt it. the most. the mood is not that good. everything seems so wrong. i feel like bursting out everything in tears. i dont know what's wrong. i dont know how to answer. maybe i feel alone. i feel lonely. i need someone to talk to. but there's just no one. everyone seems so happy with their lives. i dont wanna ruin their mood just because im sad. its been a while since i last blog. next week is the last week for exams. i wanna go home. go to gym. do something good for myself.

“I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”

kadang2 mcm terfikir, asal hidup mcm ni. why is there ups and downs in life? why can i be extremely happy today, and extremely sad on the next day. cant it be rainbows and butterflies je ke everyday. he's right. life must be balance. im trying to save some cash this month. probably joining the gym with our dearest new house mate vina.

sometimes kan, tak faham dgn perempuan yg tak reti bahasa. why do you have to menggatal still. have ur own life n jgn kacau hidup org. ur such a hypocrite. if you think you're that beautiful, gi lah masuk miss world. kalau rasa diri tu mmg sesuai nak jadi model, baru kau upload gamb tag segala jantan yg kau nak. i've had enough of you. and imma show you, what the fuck you should be!

dead

lagi satu dugaan pulak datang. i am crushed. so heartbroken that i feel like running away from everything. sabar sebahagian dari iman kan. =).

i am dying inside. i really am. haihh.

i wish.

sometimes, i wish to have a decent conversation with you. sometimes i wish we could talk and discuss things without fighting. i wish we could clear things up without you getting mad and choose to run away. i wish you could take things positively and try to accept other's opinions. its heart breaking to remember about your past. its killing me to hear you making fun of your past while my heart cries and hoping for you to just STOP and tell me how you love what you have now.how i wish you realized how much u meant to me. i love to talk. i love to ask. sometimes stupid questions. i know. just answer will you? the reason is because i wanna know you better. i wanna understand you better. i wanna love you more. this is me. i love you.

aduh!

20kgs!!! get the FUCK OFFFF!

gud morningg!!!

after so long, i really feel like blogging right now. something is so wrong. something is not right. there's so many things to do. i actually miss him. he's ignorance is driving me crazy, he's lying. he's not replying my texts, my calls. td pown tercall, and b4 that boleh ckp crdt habis. you dont have to lie. somehow, i will find out jgak. what is wrong with you when you're in Penang? its like ur in ur own world. i dont mind you spending time with your family, seriously. i don't mind if you can't call me. cant u at least text me and say u love me too? satu text satu hari. susah ka? if ur busy, then tell me, im not going to bother you. sedih la. i dont know how to hide this feeling anymore. brownies pown hangus, btol lah org ckp, if you wanna do something, do it with love. that was the only ingredient missing in my recipe. nak hang out pown, duit kna jimat. nak kerja, mcm2 la halangan. dah kna sumpahan ke apa...i cant sleep. babi btol, dah brapa hari tdo lewat cm gni. please let tomorrow be a better day. pleassseeee. = ='

why the hell are you treating me like this. i never treated you this way! =(

wohoo

its 4.30 and im still awake. well, tunggu nak sahur je nih. well not to eat actually, i dont wanna miss my subuh prayer. i promise him that i'll start praying, and so do him.

so many things had change since , im not sure when =p

but, what im sure is its a good one.

i miss the food in png,

my family,

and KAPITANN.

ok, dah mereppek. bye.

the beauty of islam. =)

Kecantikan Lelaki

Kecantikan seorang lelaki bukan kepada rupa fizikal tetapi pada murni
rohani. Lelaki yang cantik adalah:-

1) Lelaki yang mampu mengalirkan air mata untuk ingatan

2) Lelaki yang sedia menerima segala teguran

3) Lelaki yang memberi madu, setelah menerima racun

4) Lelaki yang tenang dan lapang dada

5) Lelaki yang baik sangka

6) Lelaki yang tak pernah putus asa

Kecantikan lelaki berdiri di atas kemuliaan hati. Seluruh kecantikan Yang ada pada Nabi Muhammad adalah kecantikan yang sempurna seorang lelaki..

Kegagahan Wanita

Kegagahan seorang w anita bukan kepada pejal otot badan, tetapi pada kekuatan perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah adalah:-

1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan

2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan

3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan

4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar di penuhi segala keinginan.

Kegagahan perempuan berdiri di atas teguh iman. Seluruh kegagahan yang ada
pada Khadijah adalah kegagahan sempurna bagi seorang perempuan.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW:

“Sebarkanlah ajaranku walaupun satu ayat ” Surah Al-Ahzab : Ayat 71 “Nescaya Allah memperbaiki bagimu amalan-amalanmu dan mengampuni bagimu dosa-dosamu. Dan barangsiapa mentaati Allah dan Rasul-Nya, maka sesungguhnya ia telah mendapat kemenangan yang besar.”

Wallahualam

*****Orang yg baik adalah org yg pernah melakukan kesalahan & belajar dari kesalahan itu untuk menjadi org yg lebih baik….**** *

=)

its been a while since i blog. introducing poloroid baru yaz. i love it. =)

change?

life has never been easy for me. I wish things were not the same. I wish I could change the past of what I regreted doing the most. What ive become is what I deserve? Really? I want to change my life but how? No one can change me except for myself. Really? I’m not happy, im stressful, im regretting all the shits I’ve done but yet im still doing it. Why? I don’t have all the answers but where can I find the answers? By Praying? Is that the answer to all ? so why am I still not doing it.

it was about 3 days ago. wan's wedding to be exact. eman came up with the idea of me sleeping at ira's place so that on the day we dont have to come all the way to sungai petani.

so 11.30pm, they came and picked me up. of course mak and ba were not happy. reason: its too late, and the're worried because its a long journey. about 12.30 arrived at ira's sister's somewhere in juru. the house was ermm very uncomfortable. seriously. its very very dirty and hot. bukan nk berlagak or complain. but at least cleanup. sumpah nak minum pown x lalu. i was very thirsty, tp sanggup tahan sampai esok gi beli kt petrol station. sampai macam tu skali.

so bla bla bla...ikut ira g make up n everything, so sampai la masjid around 3. i promised eman to wear tudung. so...

he looked at me and tears just came out. "sejuk hati tgk b pakai tudung. d nak cium dahi boleh"

what more can i say. kisslahhh. hehehe he keep on looking at me. it was the best moment. seriously. =)

then we went to the beach, took few pictures. balik rumah. arrive png at 1.am =D

hmm..

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?

Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more."

PENING!

am i TALL ? am i that TALL..or guys nowadays are short?

SERIOUSLY, is there anything to make you shorter or perhaps smaller boobs?

ada ka? huh.