sakit =)

"asal b nih. lebih2, GILA" then he hung up the phone

i baked a chocolate cake for him.
"yg x mau. simpan je lah dlm fridge"

" kalau b tada pown syg x rugi apa pown. b bukan ada apa. ramai lagi prompuan yang nak kt yang, tp sebab sayang punya pasal yg x leh nk tggl b"

how should i react to that?
should i just keep my mouth shut and let the heart cry?
should i ignore him and wait till he come and find me?
????

i dont know what else to do. right now im doing everything by myself. i watched movie alone. i went to the gym alone. i drive alone at night... to be honest, i've nevel felt free like this. i spent maximum 5 hours in the gym. hah! see.

hmmm everything happens for a reason kan. sabar sarah. =)

tolong la bf.

i just came back from a fight with the bf, its 4 in the morning for god's sake.
well here's the thing. i swear to god i do love him, but as time goes by im getting tired. tired of watever he wants me to be which im totally NOT.

first, he does not want me to lose weight.
i've never felt the feeling of being thin and i want to look good. well its for me. i really really want to lose this fat.
he said that, im wasting money for the gym membership, he is so scared of what im wearing that others (guys especially) might find what im wearing too revealing.come onnnn, since when i became SEXY? aduhhh.. and yeaa, if im thin and preety, guys will be looking at me and he hates it. huh?

second, he hates me going out without him.
sometimes, i wanna have fun too. for him, if i wanna have fun, then have fun with him.
teringin kot. last 2 days, he's not here. so, i called ed and we went for karaoke. he was so pissed because as usual, PEREMPUAN! x elok....

third, he so badly wants me to wear tudung.
my goddddd!!!! sumpah i'll definitely wear one day. but for the mean time give me the time to just be me. i wont fake myself. i need to enjoy my 20's. seriously.

4th, he keep on repeating that he's worried i might be 'WILD' in KL.
kalau nak jahat, lama dah aku jadi jahat kot. pening ok.
niat, to go there and continue my studies...niat tu yg penting btol x?

nak pakai cantik2 dia x suka.
so what the hell does he wnts from me??

and i know, some might said im such an idiot to stick with him till now. but i know he wants the best for me and he care bout me too much that makes him worries more...but be reasonable. respect my needs and i'll respect his. dah malas nk pk. ahhh mampos kau sarah. dah kena sumpahannnn!

baliklaaaa

its fucking late right now. i am so pissed offffffff!

yaz cepat dtg. i need u!

korangg dtg la jugak. she n elle balik cni!!!

reunion Ggl 06

the reunion was supposed to be held in feringghi, but due to the very bad traffic somewhere along waterfall, because of thaipusam, the reunion party was canceled. everyone was so ready, and suddenly one of my fren texted shaz that the reunion pary was canceled. mcm babi gak lah dah semngat nk pi. however, ktorg yg ada contact num of each other, plan and plan. and we atlast end up in QUEENSBAY =)

fyi, the one in the middle, Zaiton is already married. anak dia. sumpah comel...and she's the same age as me. 

from left, nishi, shila, najwa, parveen, nazihah, fazz, zaiton, hayati, shaz and me.

although i had fun, mcm2 jd that night, had a fight with eman. i came back at 5 in the morning, ba dah selak pintu. i couldnt enter the house. slept at mamamir's. i woke up and went late to work. sblm tu, nk buka pintu, kunci sangkut patah...rite now, im afraid to go out. takut nk jumpa mak n ba after what i did. they're nt talking to me...haihh..i wish i could tell them how sorry i am.

anyways, it was fun meeting with the girls again.

i neeD

esok cuti because its friday yaw! anyways, im not sensing any happy mood tomorrow since there's no plans except for the reunion party in sunset. i've neve been there, so im looking forward to go and see how the place looks like..

and yea, im quiting my job. sunday is my last day, but im not quite sure weather it should be good news or otherwise. i was planning on spending the whole one month working out plus taking nutrimeal, but if i continue working, i'll get some money plus excuse to go out late nite. hah, im gonna stop thinking bout lying and all the shits im doing. enough of it.

well it actually happened after bei nizal came to me and warned about ba n mak might be folowing me. dont u think dats too much. aduhh thank u beinizal. THANK U.

i need to go shopping with the gurls.

i need to fucking lose weight

i need facials

i need bei to go watch movies

i need my bf to share the love =p

i need yaz to tell her everything

i seriously need to rest.

god, give me good life until i die. aminn.

tiramisu sunday? hehe

hell lowww everyone.

well, rite now i am working in 7e. thats the nearest and easiest place to work. i've been working for almost a month + BUT satu haram jadah sen pown x dpt lagi. sumpah dowh, never work in 7e. i now actually realize how easy to get money from teaching. aunty maziah a.k.a mak yaz hehe was rite though...haihh. so tiba2 decide to jadi a lecturer mayb. heheh

im basically broke rite now. bgantung duit kat mak and bf...thank god. lama gila x shopping. akhir bulan, facial, gym and shopping. MESTI.

haihhh..life here is getting better, i mean, dah bnyak benda plan, dis sunday, mayb picnic with the guys. im baking tiramisu people. hehe no more chocolate cakes. planning by the beach, tp ntahla...br dlm perbincangan.

so td, i went shopping with eman the bf, nisha the chef, and kaha.. time tuh yg tetiba plan nk bwat picnic...masa shopping, whatever i mention, mcm whoaaa dark chocolate, dia angkat masuk dlm bakul. bapaklahh sweet. im just happy for him...

esok keje pagi, so i better get some rest now, pictures, nant ye people.

org2 yg tgh rindu sy, im missing u guys too. have fun tanpa saya. =)

hmmm...

frens, i miss u guys so damn fucking much. so i hereby announce that i MIGHT continue my degree in MSU. hehehe

first of all, i hate being here. my life is miserable. i have nothing. i miss my girlfrens. sumpah...each time i have problems, its them whom i always think about. when that happens, i do cry. i dont know why, but these few days are killing me sooo badly.

teringat masa if anyone of us ada prob, mesti gather and have this chat sampai lewat2 mlm. lps tu we'll feel better although kena kurung x bleh masuk umah, yaz is always there to make me feel sronok balik.

she, always updated with the upcoming event. kalau dia xder hidup bosan. xder la dpt g mtv world stage of shout awards. btw she... i nk pegi concert neyo. hehe

elle, mcm my own fav version of belon and babi. rindu dgr kaw ckp sabah. hahah.
pendek kata rindu smua org. rindu2

and rite now, i dont know nk cter masalah kt saper...i dont have them here. yaz pown xder. i have no job. free as hell. nk kluar pown berbatas. nk pegi gym. banyak benda nk bwat. shopping pown dah lama x...
nk balik sana. nak balik msu.

plzzz, teringin nak happy balik mcm dulu.