change?

life has never been easy for me. I wish things were not the same. I wish I could change the past of what I regreted doing the most. What ive become is what I deserve? Really? I want to change my life but how? No one can change me except for myself. Really? I’m not happy, im stressful, im regretting all the shits I’ve done but yet im still doing it. Why? I don’t have all the answers but where can I find the answers? By Praying? Is that the answer to all ? so why am I still not doing it.

it was about 3 days ago. wan's wedding to be exact. eman came up with the idea of me sleeping at ira's place so that on the day we dont have to come all the way to sungai petani.

so 11.30pm, they came and picked me up. of course mak and ba were not happy. reason: its too late, and the're worried because its a long journey. about 12.30 arrived at ira's sister's somewhere in juru. the house was ermm very uncomfortable. seriously. its very very dirty and hot. bukan nk berlagak or complain. but at least cleanup. sumpah nak minum pown x lalu. i was very thirsty, tp sanggup tahan sampai esok gi beli kt petrol station. sampai macam tu skali.

so bla bla bla...ikut ira g make up n everything, so sampai la masjid around 3. i promised eman to wear tudung. so...

he looked at me and tears just came out. "sejuk hati tgk b pakai tudung. d nak cium dahi boleh"

what more can i say. kisslahhh. hehehe he keep on looking at me. it was the best moment. seriously. =)

then we went to the beach, took few pictures. balik rumah. arrive png at 1.am =D

hmm..

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive?

Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more."

PENING!

am i TALL ? am i that TALL..or guys nowadays are short?

SERIOUSLY, is there anything to make you shorter or perhaps smaller boobs?

ada ka? huh.

strawberry chocolate tart.

so, i was wondering wat to do with the strawberries. so i thought of doing tarts. well it turns out not to cantik haha. tp rasa tuh not bad.

saki baki strawberries tuh, i dipped it with chocolate. sumpah sedap. hehe. =D

fitness =)

ok, still gemuk. i know. i know im obsessed about losing weight.
i still remember kata2 org yg mcm sial pukimak tu. sakit hati ni. although benda dah lama. panass sungguh.

although gym nih x la secanggih mana...tpkan tpkan. hahah...tipu la kalau ckp x pandang mamat2 yg badan ketul2. lemahh lemahh!..hahah. nasib dah berbf. anyways, dah register degree. kwn2....saya dah nk dekat sampai! =p

yeay yeay. haha

im okay. i am. =)

bak kata ed," tgk aya bercinta, baik tgk monyet bercinta"
hahaha =p

well, i have dis prob with eman. we looovveee to fight.
fight about something we shouldn't
and he's good at saying things that i dont want to hear.
perhaps others dont want to hear. kan yaz? =)

i'm tired of fighting. i am. sumpah x tahan. kadang2 rasa mcm
"biar single senang. takda org kacau hidup. aman damai sentosa bahagia hidup. haha"
tp, tetiba bila tgk org lain, rindu dh pulak. perangai mcm celaka kan. haihh

so yesterday, dah mcm x thn. i called him. so we spent about 2 hours maki hamun each other.
some of the words were

pukimak
celaka
anak haram..
kurang ajar
babi
fuck u ...etc

hahaha. buruk benar perangai dua2 ekoq. but i must say, legaaaaaa kot.
terkeluar smua yg terpendam. so another 30 minutes we talked about how deeply in love we are..hahahah

i went out with him today. tgk salamon kane. i thought it was a hindi movie. konon sebut salomon kann ne . haha. but menarik jugak, we took the premier class. seat sedap nk mati.
pas tuh mkn biskut tepi pantai. konon budget comellaa. anyway, i had fun. sampai gym pon x pegi. haihhh! and btw, eman ckp ok to lose weight. yeay yeay =)