always up.

Today i promise myself to eat healthy and start going to the gym back. Well, things got  a bit out of track, i guess i value my friends more than myself. We spent the day at the curve, did not expect us to end up in the karaoke room, but we did. well, singing is my...our  chill pill. 

Sometimes i feel that everyone is lucky in their own way, there is nothing as bad luck, bad day. I used to feel that way until i kick some positiveness in to my sense. Every time i feel hopeless, i'll tell myself, life is beautiful to be this sad. there's still people out there who cant afford to lose you.

 However, i really hope i'll get the job. its not my dream job but at least i get a consistent pay and i can start planing. ah too tired to scribble anything here. So many dreams to make it come true. I know i can and i will. until then,  goodnight sweethearts! xoxo

Moving on.

Its been years since i last update my blog. i was not into writing blogs anymore until i read a few good ones that really made me think about start being active again. i could practice my writing skills here too though. forgive me if there's any mistakes or errors. Well so many things happened for these past few months/years. i actually broke up with the the only man i thought Im gonna get married with. Things dont usually follow according to plans huh'. Im not sad, really. I felt so good. thinking about it again, i suffered through out my dating years, not to say i did not had fun at all. i did, he's nice in some way, but when it comes to being overprotective, cheating on me, i guess i had enough. i dont think my heart could stand this anymore. i need to live my life, like what good friends always tell me, go get some a life, be socialize, explore the world, have fun, ...... i am trying to do it now,  just that i got restricted by all the work loads i have now. 

Im currently working with Pearl Cakes and Events which really benefits me in soooo many ways. i am much improved in my decorating skills, frosting skills. I thank Satira for that. She's a good boss, but when it comes to being organize and managing the company, she fails miserably. On the other side, working with this company had made me a better person. i am so lucky in a sense that ive got the chance to meet a few famous people and the only person i could think of if Sam. hahaha. thats about it i guess. Talking about Sam wont let me stop, my friends know that. until then, tadaa.

 

when i need you the most.

ive been waiting. its like there's no respond. have you ever felt frustrated. today, i felt it. the most. the mood is not that good. everything seems so wrong. i feel like bursting out everything in tears. i dont know what's wrong. i dont know how to answer. maybe i feel alone. i feel lonely. i need someone to talk to. but there's just no one. everyone seems so happy with their lives. i dont wanna ruin their mood just because im sad. its been a while since i last blog. next week is the last week for exams. i wanna go home. go to gym. do something good for myself.

“I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”

kadang2 mcm terfikir, asal hidup mcm ni. why is there ups and downs in life? why can i be extremely happy today, and extremely sad on the next day. cant it be rainbows and butterflies je ke everyday. he's right. life must be balance. im trying to save some cash this month. probably joining the gym with our dearest new house mate vina.

sometimes kan, tak faham dgn perempuan yg tak reti bahasa. why do you have to menggatal still. have ur own life n jgn kacau hidup org. ur such a hypocrite. if you think you're that beautiful, gi lah masuk miss world. kalau rasa diri tu mmg sesuai nak jadi model, baru kau upload gamb tag segala jantan yg kau nak. i've had enough of you. and imma show you, what the fuck you should be!

dead

lagi satu dugaan pulak datang. i am crushed. so heartbroken that i feel like running away from everything. sabar sebahagian dari iman kan. =).

i am dying inside. i really am. haihh.

i wish.

sometimes, i wish to have a decent conversation with you. sometimes i wish we could talk and discuss things without fighting. i wish we could clear things up without you getting mad and choose to run away. i wish you could take things positively and try to accept other's opinions. its heart breaking to remember about your past. its killing me to hear you making fun of your past while my heart cries and hoping for you to just STOP and tell me how you love what you have now.how i wish you realized how much u meant to me. i love to talk. i love to ask. sometimes stupid questions. i know. just answer will you? the reason is because i wanna know you better. i wanna understand you better. i wanna love you more. this is me. i love you.