change?

life has never been easy for me. I wish things were not the same. I wish I could change the past of what I regreted doing the most. What ive become is what I deserve? Really? I want to change my life but how? No one can change me except for myself. Really? I’m not happy, im stressful, im regretting all the shits I’ve done but yet im still doing it. Why? I don’t have all the answers but where can I find the answers? By Praying? Is that the answer to all ? so why am I still not doing it.