screw me!

fuck fuck fuck. ahh..only bad words are coming out from my mouth. i feel stupid, unhappy and so many other unpleasant moods. there's too many things to think. too many things to do. there's just too many. huh! however it's not a sigh of relief .

Im not home almost every night. During the day, yes. But not at night. I can’t stand being home at night even for one day but I do sacrifice my weekends to be with my family. yea.. they do matters to me.

Just now, I went out with ed and Kaha. They have these brilliant thoughts that you would never expect from a 19 and a 20 year old. They talk about business and some life experience and it did motivate me. It did. But something else was on my mind. I wasn’t actually concentrating on whatever topic they’re talking. What I did was, I nod my head and agree with whatever they says.

I actually miss him so much. I finally have to admit this. I want to meet him so badly but I just can’t. what is so wrong with me. I don’t even know it myself. Fuck my mind, fuck my heart.

p/s sorry for the FUCK